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My son Joshua
Sprucemoose:
My deepest condolences.
God Bless
shmokes:
I'm so sorry. It is by far my greatest fear. I think I am not built to cope with such a loss. I would just shut down I think. I hope you are stronger than I in this respect. For what it's worth I recently heard an interview with the author of a book called The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit: How to Bounce Back from Life's Hardest Hits. It is meant to help people cope with terrible life events like a child's death. I haven't read it -- but the author seemed pretty bright and insightful. If you decide to take a look I hope it helps.
I'm sure that on top of everything else this must be difficult financially. If you have a paypal link or an address I think there are quite a few people who would like to do what little we can to make things a bit easier on you.
MustardTent:
This is so unreal -- I keep expecting to see him everywhere. It's like he's back at the NICU waiting for me to come over after work (he was in the NICU for the first 4 months of his life).
Planning a wake/funeral is so much like planning a wedding -- flowers, limos, venues, church, vocalist & pianist for the church service, clothes, etc.
We made a DVD compiled from pictures & videos of his life. It is wonderful and terrible. I have a need to keep watching it but I need to not do that.
All that my wife and I can do is start volunteering. We're getting involved with our Church and an organization called Easter Seals which helps children with special needs and was a big part of Josh's life.
I very much appreciate the offer shmokes, but if anybody feels the need to contribute financially, please direct it towards Easter Seals or the CHARGE foundation. Organizations like these are absolutely crucial to families like mine and your money is much better spent with them.
Oh yeah, and my wife and I got some tattoos in Josh's honor (we took the pictures that day we got them, so they're a little red). [edit]Having a little trouble posting the pictures for some reason. Go here.
shardian:
Watch the video as much as you want. No matter what anyone thinks or says, there is no time frame for grieving. My son would have been 3 next Friday. We still crack out our video just like yours once in a while. Pictures everywhere, etc.
I have a story for you. When Riley died, it felt like the end of the world. I was absolutely numb to everything for a long time. I had 2 grandparents pass away within the next year, and I didn't shed a tear for either one because of this. Maybe it was fate, who knows, but we got to know a woman who had also lost a child early in the same circumstances to NEC. She later had another son, and he was currently 9. Over that year, we got to know this family and see how they respected the memory of their lost boy. I really think our whole outlook on life, and how we remember Riley would be different if it wasn't for this family. Some people seem to hide away losses like this. Why? I don't know. Just know that you don't have to do that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel you have to 'suck it up' for anyones sake. Your son lived - that is a beautiful thing. His memory should be carried on for all to see.
Pongo:
Just saw this now and wanted to extend my condolences.
I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that must be. As a father of 3 I know how precious each and every one is.
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