Main > Everything Else

My morning...

<< < (2/13) > >>

saint:
A couple of weeks ago my son (same son) came in and exclaimed loudly to everyone that the poop came "shooting out of my butt!"  He was quiet astonished.

Good times. Here's another war story I like to tell every few months or so:

---------------------------

My then 5(?) year old son (not the same child, this one is now 9) was in bed, we were all asleep, when I hear him calling. I get up to check on him, and he feels sick. I go to pick him up and tell him it'll be OK. I'm on the "O" portion of OK, holding him facing me, when he throws up. Blammo. All over me. Onto my face. Into my open mouth. Mmmmmmmm someone else's vomit in my mouth.

. . .

OK, I can deal. It's just a bit of barf, it won't kill me. Side note - someone else's barf tastes just like your own. OK - I hold him to me since we're both icky, figure I'll just hop us both in the shower. Pressing him to me so we don't drip because amazingly it's all contained on me and him. Don't want to wake anyone up, so here we go. I take one step.

BARFO #2! All over me and him. It's warm and pooling over my belly where I'm holding him to me. Kind of chilly on the fringes where the first heave is starting to cool.

...

OK. I'm an adult. I can deal. Comfort my child, dash to the shower and don't worry about the dripping, clean it up later. I take step #2.

BARFO #3! All over me.

...

Some things are more than mortal man can handle by himself. I realized it was time to call upon a higher power. I yelled and woke up my wife. She stumbles in bleary eyed to see what's the matter, and sees me holding my son with both of us dripping with barf. She takes him, I shuffle to the shower trying not to drip everywhere.

Did I mention I still had the taste of barf in my mouth?

By the time I get out magically things have been resolved and cleaned up.

........


Good times, good times. One of my favorite war stories actually Smiley

Wouldn't trade my kids for the world, non parents just don't understand such things.

ahofle:
I never do well with our kids barfing.  I usually just stand there shell shocked with combined feelings of horror, fascination, and disbelief.  Then my wife usually yells at me for just standing there, pushes me aside and takes care of it.  :laugh2:

J_K_M_A_N:
I have a story like ONE part of that story. My son didn't feel well when he was about 2-3 and I was holding him and he barfed all down my neck and back and all over the floor. That was a good time. I had to clean him up first and then jump in the shower myself. Luckily that doesn't happen anymore now that he is 18. :)

J_K_M_A_N

ChadTower:

I remember one time we were all sitting eating dinner.  Son (18 months) is in a bouncy seat on the floor next to the table.  For some reason he used to like to take that exact time every night to poop and was not subtle about it.  We see his face start to turn red and he's squeezing but it's that time so we think nothing of it.  His face turns redder than usual, and keep in mind he's a pale redhead, so that's plenty red.  He lets out a little whimper and then we hear it.  The sound that came from this kid sounded can only be compared to what I think a tank of compressed air would sound like if it failed 6' deep in a bog.  He screamed like someone burned him and actually blew a hole in his diaper.  15 seconds later he was quiet again and so asleep we wondered if he weren't showing signs of PTSD.

RayB:
um Saint... he shouldn't have gone to school. He'll likely have another "round" later today, if you know what I mean.  :-\

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version