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My morning...
saint:
can best be described with the word "dripping."
I go downstairs to wake up and dress my 5 year old son, and he's not there. I find him in the basement guest room playing Gamecube. First thing I notice when I open the door is the vile smell. I mean, paint-peeling aroma wafting heavily through the air. The words "eye watering" would not be amiss here. I tell him good morning and ask if he's stinky, he replies "I need a bath." I do not take this as a good sign.
Not having time for a bath I prepare for a wet-wipe sponge bath. I decide to take him to the main floor "just in case" and when he starts to walk out of the guestroom I notice the *OUTSIDE* of his blue PJs are brown in the spot where he's been sitting on the carpet. I instruct him not to move, spot wipe the carpet, and we head upstairs. When I disrobe the boy, both he and his pullup are literally dripping liquid poop. Brown, drippy, stinky, clinging, "you could tar your roof with this but wouldn't want to" liquid goo. Drip, drip, splatter, splotch. The carpet in the guest room and main floor could stand a shampoo. He is covered with brown vile smelling paint from ankle to waist. I use up half a box of wet wipes. Copious hand washing and magic-soap is applied to both of us.
Still with a few minutes to be able to make it to school on time, I pick up his backpack, and..... "dripping" once again applies. The spill-proof cup put in his backpack had no valve, and the backpack was lying horizontally. Everything is drenched, there's a puddle on the floor, and the cup is essentially empty. Scramble to find another backpack. At this point I know we're late for school.
Get that taken care of, grab a pack of poptarts from the box he likes, and dash into the van. Get to the bottom of the drive way and.... Someone has placed the Smores poptarts inside the Oreo chocolate pop tart box. My son won't have anything to do with Smores poptarts and is devestated. At this point I give up all hope of being anywhere on time and go back to the house to exchange the pop tarts.
My boss laughs at me this morning.
--- saint
ChadTower:
Damn, man. I'd have given up entirely on being on time in the beginning and put that kid in the shower. That's GOT to be quicker than depainting the kid with wet wipes. Is he sick? Seems a decent bet that might happen again during the day if he has a stomach bug.
Kevin Mullins:
I would have just gave up and stayed home.....
Hoopz:
--- Quote from: Kevin Mullins on December 02, 2008, 10:11:06 am ---I would have just gave up and stayed home.....
--- End quote ---
I agree. It's easier to call in sick than to be late to work/school. Instead of putting him in the shower to get him clean, I would have used the hose outside. Don't have to clean the shower when you're done that way. ;D
Sounds like a stomach bug so hopefully he's ok.
orion:
Oh my God that's too funny! :laugh2: If it makes you feel any better whatsoever, know that you are not alone in this kind of experience this week. My kid "exploded" in the bathroom Sunday morning. I had woken up at 4:00 am to feed the baby and was almost knocked down by the smell coming from the bathroom... I open the door to a real horror show. Oh the Humanity! I went to check on my son and ask him if he was OK and what had happend. He said he was OK and then said "I don't know what happend" and added... "It was crazy". It took me two hours to clean everything and everybody up... I have never seen anything like that before in my life.... I've had a rough couple of weeks here with the kids. Please someone tell me it gets better!
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