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this really gets my goat (relationship).
shardian:
It technically it sounds like you all are mutual friends now. That is a different situation. There was a guy that lived down near Michelle's Dads, and he was always after Michelle when she went down there in the summer and on weekends. Back then, I wanted to beat his ass, and I was always upset with Michelle for leading him on. She was down there for Christmas one year, and he came over to give her a ring.
In the end, I finally realized that she didn't want him, and that her family down there were pushing him on her as a way to tie her to down there and get her to move there permanently. She was awkward and nonconfrontational about it, so she just kind of accepted his gifts. He didn't have a clue how serious me and Michelle were.
Now, I am best friends with the guy. He was one of my groomsmen in our wedding. We've went on vacation with him and his girlfriend. I trust him completely...to a pont of course. ;)
I guess I'm back to my original point that mutual friends are generally acceptable. If either you or your wife had a problem with a opposite sex friend, then if your or her truly cares, you/her would realize your relationship is more important than that friendship.
dgordon86:
--- Quote from: shardian on March 26, 2008, 03:12:03 pm ---I guess I'm back to my original point that mutual friends are generally acceptable. If either you or your wife had a problem with a opposite sex friend, then if your or her truly cares, you/her would realize your relationship is more important than that friendship.
--- End quote ---
This was more or less what our fight was about. My girlfriend was trying to make it clear that I'm the only one for her and it doesn't matter what others are saying because she has no interest.
I said some nasty remakes that I probably shouldn't have, but thankfully she forgave me.
I agree with whoever said being a hot head will just make the other guy look better. When I was pretty peaved I re-read that line and felt pretty embarrassed. Somewhat knocked a little sense into me.
Another thing, what does it show about this guy's personality if hes hitting on someone's girl? Nothing. He may be a nice dude, but it's his character thats questionable in the long run. He can say all he want but, it won't get him the level of dedication she has for me :D
shmokes:
Keep in mind, I don't think anyone here thinks it's a black&white thing. It's not like you just let your spouse do whatever because you trust her unconditionally. My wife could not go on a date with an ex, for christ's sake. She couldn't go out clubbing with him and show up at 4am all sloppy drunk. I mean, when I say it's unreasonable to suggest that your wife has to give up important people in her life in order to be with you, I understand that things can be totally unreasonable on the other side. And, hey, maybe it's even reasonable to tell her that it makes you feel insulted or uncomfortable to have her keeping in contact with a guy who is actively trying to convince her to leave you. But that's the problem . . . she's not going to cut off contact just because you want her to. And if she leaves you, it won't be because of this guy. It will be because of her. If she's gonna leave you, she's gonna leave you, for this guy or someone else.
Therein lies the real problem of jealousy. It simply doesn't serve any useful end. All it will do is make you feel ---smurfy---, and possibly make your girlfriend stop liking you. That's it. That's as far as it will take you. Don't think about it in terms of whether you have a right to be jealous. Think about it in terms of whether you want to be jealous. Cos you don't. It feels like ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. And it gets you nowhere. Bury that.
paigeoliver:
All I think it says about his personality is that he is either willing to waste his time, or that YOU don't matter at all in his eyes.
My last girl of any consequence had a boyfriend when I met her (she was 19, the boyfriend was 17, I was 29), he wasn't even a factor as far as I was concerned. I don't make a habit of such things (IIRC I have stolen a grand total of two girlfriends in my life, and only one of them was from someone I knew, and he was far from a friend), but women don't go running to other men because they get an offer, they go running to other men because they want to run away in the first place.
If she wants to leave you for another guy, she will, and overly jealous behavior will drive her away, even if it isn't into the arms of that supposed rival. The whole email "I have feelings for you, etc, etc" bit is pretty pathetic anyway, and isn't very likely to work unless the girl is really unhappy with who she is with in the first place, or BECOMES unhappy with him. And if you have a fairly nice and attractive woman you can be pretty certain that SOMEONE will always be interested.
ark_ader:
Find the guy, take him to a bar and get him drunk, take him out back and beat the living :censored: out of him.
He'll recover, you will feel better and then you won't care what letter she gets.
When someone invades in your personal territory, repel them with force.
Watch National Geographic living with the apes.
Those monkees don't mess about. Why should you?
If you get caught say it was a crime of passion, and get a good lawyer. ;D
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