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this really gets my goat (relationship).

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saint:

--- Quote from: patrickl on March 26, 2008, 01:53:12 pm ---Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

--- End quote ---

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

ChadTower:

In other words saint is confident that he brings the goods - no reason to ensure she isn't going elsewhere.  That is usually the root of jealousy.  It is not about the partner.  It is about oneself.

AtomSmasher:
My cousins husband is a fireman and he was partnered up with a woman who he was forced to spend long hours with due to his job.  Everyone agrees that he did not have a actual affair with the girl, but my cousin was pissed off because she believes he had an "emotional affair" with her.  They are now getting divorced, although it should be noted that most of us believe she just used the "emotional affair" excuse to make her sound like the victim because most of us believe she was already cheating on him.

patrickl:

--- Quote from: saint on March 26, 2008, 02:05:21 pm ---
--- Quote from: patrickl on March 26, 2008, 01:53:12 pm ---Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

--- End quote ---

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

--- End quote ---
Of course not, but wouldn't you at least let her know you're unhappy with the situation? That you feel the guy is acting inapropriately?

Ah well, guess, it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kinda thing anyway.

saint:

--- Quote from: patrickl on March 26, 2008, 02:28:35 pm ---
--- Quote from: saint on March 26, 2008, 02:05:21 pm ---
--- Quote from: patrickl on March 26, 2008, 01:53:12 pm ---Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

--- End quote ---

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

--- End quote ---
Of course not, but wouldn't you at least let her know you're unhappy with the situation? That you feel the guy is acting inapropriately?

Ah well, guess, it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kinda thing anyway.

--- End quote ---

Oh yeah, definitely tell her if it bugs you enough, or your own unspoken resentment can eat away at your relationship also.But that's different than trying to dictate how she responds. (By the way, I'm not trying to be Dr. Phil. I ran afoul of letting my jealousy put my wife in a position where she felt she had to choose between doing something she liked and appeasing my feelings. It wasn't a romantic jealousy -- she was just spending some time  on something she enjoyed and I wigged out irrationally because that time wasn't spent with me. I *knew* I was being an idiot but for some reason _this_ thing at _that_ time just got to me. We talked it out and I got over myself, but for a time there until we did I was pissed off and she was hurt and none of it was her fault or her problem, it was all me. Blah blah I'm not comfortable talking about my personal life on the net but the gist is been there, done that, at least in a somewhat similar situation).

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