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this really gets my goat (relationship).

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shardian:

--- Quote from: saint on March 26, 2008, 10:36:46 am ---I couldn't disagree with you more. I won't bore anyone with my personal stories but my experiences are apparently different than yours.


--- End quote ---

Oh come on, we're on an arcade forum for goodness sakes. Dish the goods! :laugh2:

saint:
Heh... Well I'm still on friendly terms with every woman I've ever dated. The first girlfriend I had I dated for 6 years. After we broke up we remained on good terms and to this day care for each other still. When my now wife but then girlfriend (roughly 1 year after breaking up with first girlfriend) and I were about to move out of our home town together, the night before the move each of us went out with our ex separately to say goodbye. Then on my ex's first birthday after our move out of town, I sent her flowers using my wife's (girlfriend still at that point) credit card with her blessing because I was worried she'd be depressed. Our contact tapered off after that first year, but we still email a few times a year and catch up with each other's lives. She still lives in our old hometown, and I know that if I had an emergency of some kind (parents health or some such) I could call her for help and readily expect to get it, and vice-versa if that was possible.

At least one time when my wife and I went back to visit the home town, we went to my ex's house for dinner with her and her husband. It was admittedly a little weird at first but I like the guy she ended up with and I'm happy that she found him. A few years later they and their young son came to my little brother's graduation party.

My wife knows that my ex was a significant part of my life and doesn't ask me to throw that away. I don't believe she has any qualms about the occasional contact I have with my ex, but if she does she doesn't show it.

My wife is not in contact with her ex as I am, but if she was I would be fine with it. I can't deny I'd feel the need to puff up and defend my territory, but I'd squish that urge as hard as I could because my wife has done nothing to earn my distrust.

....

Now, there was the time when my first ex and second ex and I and my wife (newly girlfriend) and at least one of her ex'es all ended up at a dance club together as part of a group. I was a little weirded out by that :)  Then there was the time my wife (girlfriend at the time), her most recent ex (like literally a few weeks earlier) and I all ended up in SCUBA class together. You just don't want to end up changing in the same locker room as your girlfriend's ex, you just don't. It's weird. No ill feelings or anything but plenty of subconscious strutting around trying to prove who was the bigger dog in the pack. Funny in retrospect... :)

Blah blah there's more but it's all like that.

--- saint

patrickl:
Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

Dartful Dodger:
I agree with shardian.

You can't have a non-sexual opposite sex friend.  the only exceptions are relatives, spouses of friends (girlfriends of friends are not part of this exception) , or if you or her are really gay.  

I had a female friend in HS that was hot in HS, I wanted her, but at the time she wanted to "just be friends".  After college she put on A LOT of weight.  Since we were "just friends" I still enjoyed going out with her.  When I’m dating, my girlfriends get jealous of her.  I couldn’t understand their jealousy( did I mention she’s gained A LOT of weight).

After a recent break up I went out with her and she made a pass at me.

If you’re not attracted to your female friends, they are attracted to you.
You may trust your GF, but NEVER trust her male friends, unless she’s a fatty. If that's the case then you have bigger problems.

ChadTower:
My wife would be very unhappy if I were still in contact with any exes.  She wouldn't start a fight over it, though, she'd just find ways that it proves to her she is old/fat/unattractive/British.

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