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this really gets my goat (relationship).
dgordon86:
Ok, so I was on my girlfriends computer the other day while studying and I go to log into my gmail account. Her account is already pulled up and like the idiot I am I click on the first message (thinking it was addressed to me)
I start reading with a confused look on my face, then I look at the sender and realized the message is for my girlfriend, from this guy we both worked with in California (since moved home to MA). He was saying "how he feels about her" even though shes 1800 miles away now, and ever though shes involved with me, yadda, yadda, yadda.
The thing that seems really uncool to me is that I met and worked with this person and he has the nerve to say something like this? I'm a pretty relaxed kid, but I could bite his ear off right now!
I've been with my girlfriend for about four years and I know she loves me, but what upsets me is that she couldn't recognize that what he was saying was wrong and to tell him to shut up.
Most of you guys are older than me, and I just want to know if your wives/girlfriends have "guy friends". How does that work for you? To me it seems like there has to be some rules when the opposite sex is involved.
I told her I didn't want her talking to him anymore. Wrong?
:badmood:
patrickl:
Yeah, you have to be careful with these things. After a while people only remember the nice things about someone. When they keep in touch (and he keeps chatting her up like that) he might seem like some romantic dream guy to her in the end.
Seriously uncool of this guy whichever way you look at it and it's sad that your girlfriend doesn't acknowledge how lame it is. I don't think you can force her to stop staying in touch. He can just keep sending her e-mails. At least show her that this really upsets you. That should show her that you are serious about her too.
dgordon86:
See, my girlfriend is a super nice, attractive, and a beautiful person at heart.
She sees it as just a friend to keep in contact with. I'm positive she sees nothing more of it.
This ordeal has allowed me to open up in a way I never have. If I had this guys number after I read what he wrote, I would have called him up and told him I'm flying back to San Francisco just to see him. lol.
saint:
--- Quote from: dgordon86 on March 25, 2008, 06:48:21 pm ---Most of you guys are older than me, and I just want to know if your wives/girlfriends have "guy friends". How does that work for you? To me it seems like there has to be some rules when the opposite sex is involved.
I told her I didn't want her talking to him anymore. Wrong?
--- End quote ---
Wrong. Either you trust each other or you don't. You can tell her it bugs you, but if you try to dictate to her who she talks to you're beginning to poison the relationship. Two of her choices: 1) Talk to him and lie to you, 2) Don't talk to him and resent you. Neither healthy in a relationship.
CheffoJeffo:
I'm totally down with saint on this, although my reasoning comes across differently.
Any guy that is going to steal your girl is going to steal your girl -- your lipping about it only makes it easier for him.
My wife has always had more guy friends, some of whom have been interested romantically, than I have and I had to resign myself early on to trusting that there was a reason she wasn't with them in the first place.
You either play the cards you have and trust the relationship, or you make ridiculous claims over her sovereignty ('coz, yeah, THAT's gonna make her stay away from him!).
Both choices have risks, but the latter path always fails (unless your goal is to appear on Springer, Povich or Dr. Phil).
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