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Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It
ChadTower:
Clearly global warming is being caused by the reduction of frozen 600 year old clams. Every time they dig one up and kill it, another 5 mile chunk of ice breaks off and floats away.
Zebidee:
Can you imagine being that clam, 400 years in one spot, nothing to do but filter seawater and ponder the meaning of its own existence. For 400 years, wondering what it is all about. Something like Deep Thought from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. What is the purpose?
Apparently it is to get dragged up and slaughtered by some halfwits trying to prove something as blatantly obvious as global warming. Right after this, those same scientists will probably go and BBQ a sperm whale to prove that breathing in smoke particles are dangerous to your health.
Watch out for Vogons building space freeways everyone .....
Dartful Dodger:
Can you imagine being 400 years old and have a 20-60 year old kill you, just so a couple of other pre70 years old can give him a Nobel Peace Prize.
To us the clam’s life looks as meaningful as a tree’s life. To him our life looks as meaningful as an ant’s.
RandyT:
I don't know if clams can even ponder such things. I've never once tasted a brain while eating one.
ChadTower:
"Honey, what did you dip this claim in, it tastes off..."
"Oh, nothing, that's just the sentience in this one."
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