I know how you feel about the bickering. My great Grandmother, who I lived with for 10 years, died in 95. But my family started arguing before she died. I lived here in the house before she died and was also was left the house. So I had everydody in the family coming over and saying she promised me that, or she promised me this. I actually threw out some things just because too many people said it was supposed to be theirs. Years later, no one talks about it, but because of their greed, I don't think anyone has forgotten. I was also the executor, so everybody came to me. You might not be getting what you deserve from what she left behind, but with family fighting, you are lucky to at least not be in the middle. If you are the only one not being greedy, if you were the executor you would have everybody coming to you, begging, lying and threatening, and even the guilt trip. I am truley sorry about what you are going through, as I said, I went through some of my family giving me a very hard time. Some have brought it up to me over the years, just to let me know they haven't forgotten. Which hurts, because I was doing exactly what I thought my Grandmother would have wanted. I even gave some of what I was left away to other family members. Sorry to be blabbing and seeming to pour my heart out here. I just want you to see that if any selfish people are involved, you are alot better to not have to be the referee of the family. As far as the law goes, I know here in NY I was allowed to use her money that was not left to anyone, to pay the house mortgage and bills for as long as was necessary,(the law states no specific amount of time). Without delay, means nothing at all in court. I know there is no executor in your case, but seeing you are a reletive, maybe "in the best interest of the estate" you can request a copy of any actions taken from the appointed attourney. Since there was no will, I beleive all actions SHOULD be public records. I mean come on, you can go to county offices and see how much is owed (leans) on someones mortgage and who is making the property tax payments (bank mortgage is in) and who is getting copies of the tax bills, for ANYONES address. Unfortunately I have had ALOT of court experiences in my life, and I know that what is supposed to happen in court does not always. MOST of the time the better lawyer wins, no matter what. That's why innocent people go to jail, and guilty people go free, or get plea bargained to unrelated charges. Again, I am just trying to show you that it might be a good thing that you are not the center of all this. And I am sorry for your loss.
Steve