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My Mom's Estate----Attorney problems
fredster:
I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my mother some years back. What you are describing is more common than you think. The way the thing went down in my family made sore spots, but we all lived throught it.
In all of this I didn't read where you have called your brother or drove out to see him. What brought us together was that we talked about it. We are from way different worlds now too, but we had one thing in common, we all loved our mother.
Maybe the time to appeal to your brother has come. You need to talk to them personally and have them tell you to your face what they plan instead of through some third party, especially some lawyer. Go there. Get in your car and drive out and see them. I can't cost that much to go. It might be what's needed to bring you all together again.
If that doesn't work after you have put forth the effort your mother would want, then get into the phone book and call one of the lawyers in the local area and talk to them. It might be worth your while to get one of local yolkels to do the work face to face. It might take a week, but I'm sure it would be a better approach than trying to do it from remote control.
Arcadiac:
Thanks again for your input. I'm gonna try a combination of solutions. First I'm gonna write a final request to the probate lawyer for information. And make some calls to PA to see what help getting information is available.
Fredster , thanks for your suggestion, my brother cut off all chance of resolution by his horrific behavior before and after my Mom's death. The things he did are unforgivable, withholding information about her health, dumping my mom in the nursing home to die (her worst fear, she lasted less than 2 weeks there), to cremating her against her wishes, no funeral service, and the topper, taking her remains from the funeral home on the day I was going there to bring her home to be interred next to my father. It took six months and a court order to get her home for a funeral service, that they didn't bother to attend. I have heard horror stories of how families treat each other, but never anything like this, the emotional damage has been great for everyone. And keep in mind that this is the Reader's Digest version, more damage has been done than can be repaired.
I found out after her death that my brother had been mistreating her emotionally, Mom had cancer and was very frail the last couple of years of her life. She had a couple of heart attacks, again no one told me. When she would get sick he would accuse her of faking it to get attention. The last time she fell ill before her death he wouldn't even go to her house to let the EMS in, he just told them to get the hidden key and let themselves in. Despicable.
And then there is the survivors guilt, because of my inability to be there for her, he was able to assume practical power of attorney over her before she died, he simply lived closer, 5 miles to my five hundred. I wish I could have done more, she deserved better. Dealing with my and my son's disabilities and little income made it difficult to go visit her (last time we were able to go was July 2002, some friends collected money to help us get there upon learning of Mom's cancer diagnosis) and moving nearer was impossible.
I suppose that all these years that people were trying to tell me how downright dirty and greedy and mean my brother and sister were, I was in denial, I didn't want to believe that my big bro and sis could possibly be that way. Now I know it's true.
So mostly I want the probate over, those held accountable for stealing from her, and be finished with my brother and sister, I want nothing more to do with them because I too deserve better.
Gotta go get some sleep, had another of those sleepless nights, thanks all for your empathy, suggestions and support, it really does help and I appreciate you all.
ARCADIAC!
Hoagie_one:
<Insert story just like everyone elses>
money will destroy people, families, everything.
stevejt:
Two things, the second being important. First of all, since he has been declared the executor, he is entitled to be paid from the estate for doing so. Second, since he was not left the house and is BUYING it, he is buying it from the estate. That means it should be sold at market value, or at least close to. The money he pays is supposed to go into the estate, which will then be split between the heirs. (Or described as buying out the other heirs.) I am pretty sure you and your brother and sister will be declared the only required heirs as you are the only immediate family. Though some states I beleive don't give the same "rights" to "out of state" relatives. I am not a lawyer, but has to go through alot of crap when my Grandmother passed away. She had a will, that named me executor, but some of the vultures (at least one that I know of) questioned it.
Again, I wish you the best of luck, getting this finished as quickly and fairly as possibly.
Steve
dag2000:
He should be paying rent to the estate while he resides in the house.
You sould contact the court directly. Here in NY it is Surrogate's court, in PA it is probably probate court or something else. If you can give them the file number they should be able to tell you the status of the estate and give you some idea of your rights.