Main > Everything Else
the story, of the worst time in my life
Shape D.:
--- Quote from: ChadTower on February 09, 2005, 04:06:59 pm ---No, think more along the lines of Courtney Love as a redhead, then make them slighly less stable. And shorter.
--- End quote ---
ohhh like this
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000349/ ;)
Sephroth57:
can u guys go wh0re another thread
ChadTower:
--- Quote from: Shape D. on February 09, 2005, 04:11:21 pm ---
--- Quote from: ChadTower on February 09, 2005, 04:06:59 pm ---No, think more along the lines of Courtney Love as a redhead, then make them slighly less stable. And shorter.
--- End quote ---
ohhh like this
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000349/
--- End quote ---
No no no.
mr.Curmudgeon:
--- Quote from: Sephroth57 on February 09, 2005, 04:28:32 pm ---can u guys go wh0re another thread
--- End quote ---
hehe..they are depraved aren't they?
Anyhow, I read through your story and it reminded me of how difficult the early stages of relationships can be. I've been with my GF for 14 years now, since High School...and we've been through it all. I'm 31 now and we still find ourselves working on issues from time to time.
If I can add a couple general pieces of advice, if I've learned anything in all that time together it's this:
- Sometimes you just don't know how you feel about the other person...and that's O.K. It doesn't mean dislike, it just means exactly what it sounds like, "I. Don't. know."
- Communication is the key. Talk about things before the problems become bigger than the solutions.
- Be willing to change the troublesome things that make you most unlike your true self.
Now for specific advice, to address your situation. It sounds like you need to lay it on the line for her (*NO ULTIMATUMS THOUGH*), then give her the time she wants to address her own feelings. Ask her when she'd have the time to listen to one, possibly last, important conversation. Let her pick the time and day. Make one more phone call to her and outline EXACTLY how you feel. Address the expectations you have had in the relationship in the past, explain how those may have changed with her latest revelations, and address the expectations you would *now* have were the relationship given another chance.
Outline your understanding of her concerns, have her help you understand them better if she feels you're off-base on a few. Explain that you understand she needs time and that you hope she understands your feelings for her. If you would plan on seeing other women, tell her this, out of respect, not in any vindictive way. Express your love/concern/care for her as best you can without being overly emotional and/or needy. Grin and bear it like a man who has lost a buddy on the battlefield, yet needs to keep fighting to save himself.
Then ask her, out of respect for the time you've had together, to call you when she has come to some sort of understanding of her own feelings, whatever they may be, and/or if she needs to talk to you to further that goal. Tell her you'd accept them on their own merit.
Then let her go. Play through the pain. If there is any chance for the relationship to work, she'd need to work just as hard as you, if not harder, given that she has neglected to communicate in the past. If she doesn't call back after whatever period of time you'd expect her to (I mean, just like a job interview, you generally know you're not getting the position after a while). Move on and allow yourself to have grown with the experience. Don't become bitter...become better for it.
*I apologize in advance for all the sports/militaristic analogies. This tends to happen when I am giving advice to other men, it helps me keep it macho.
mrC
DaveMMR:
--- Quote from: Sephroth57 on February 09, 2005, 02:56:52 pm ---another thing that sucks, lets say hypotheticly i need to go find another chick or something, my requirements for a girl worth dating, are so weird and specific its gonna be <auto-censored> hard
first off, she has to have minimum strawberry blonde hair, preferably red. gotta be fair/pale skinned (i love the white chicks, no tan), preferably irish or sweedish or something like that. a small amount of freckles is hot, gotta have nice boobs (34B minimum). so all those physical qualities, plus she has to be cool enough to deal with a guy into videogames, building my own arcade machines in my garage, im into racing cars on the track, all kind of weird ass crap, who else is going to happen to like all those things.. its like amazing that i found her
--- End quote ---
I think 99% of the men I know completely threw their "requirements" out the window when they met the right girl. However, if it's just for fun, then by all means stick with the qualities you find cool. But do yourself a favor and don't limit yourself. You might be missing out on a wonderful girl just because she's a brunette and you want blond/redhead or her breasts aren't 34B's.
By the way, to help the healing, rent Swingers (no, seriously) and avoid Say Anthing (women do not like men who try to woo them back by standing outside their window with a boom box - believe you me).
:D