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the story, of the worst time in my life
APFelon:
--- Quote from: danny_galaga on February 09, 2005, 05:51:28 am ---
and what you've just said ISN'T some sort of magic bullet?
--- End quote ---
Did you trouble yourself to read what I wrote? I basically told him to comfort himself somehow while all of the stuff goes down. Is that a magic bullet like "play hard to get" or "treat her bad so she wants you back?"
Yeesh.
APf
ChadTower:
Nyeh, I know Seph some, and there's some backstory to this. He's a friend, but I'll be honest here. She's in that point in her life where she's getting out of school soon, moving on with life for the career, etc. Seph has shown no interest in getting an education, a career... he's not going anywhere. Chicks don't want that guy who is too lazy to even go to community college because that guy's never going to progress any further.
It's lame sometimes, but that's just how it is. I wouldn't want a chick who never developed some type of career or true independence after high school. The way she sees it, Seph is one layoff away from being a Walmart employee and is doing nothing to change that. I'm not saying he should go to MIT and study Astrophysics, but showing some type of ambition in life would have helped his case with her.
Refusing to drive 40 minutes to see her is a pretty serious message about how important she is to him and how lazy he can be. 40 minutes is nothing, some people spend that much time on the toilet.
Worst of all, now that she's trying to 'find herself' or whatever she calls it, she's using him. She doesn't want him but won't break clean so he can do what's best for him. He has the worst of it all, no commitment, no relationship, and yet she wants to have him around all the time to make her feel secure. F%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%CK THAT.
This is the kick in the ass Seph needs anyway. Dude needs to get off his ass and go to school, or learn a real trade, or something that isn't one specific decent job with no hope of advancement/income improvement. If he does those things, he will really help himself, and if she loves him she'll come back. If he does those things, and she doesn't come back, she should be gone anyway. Either way, he should do them because the distance between 20 years old and 30 is about 15 minutes long compared to 10 and 20.
Oh, and Seph, consider this. If this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, the worst time of your life, you've had a pretty charmed life to this point.
ChadTower:
--- Quote from: Peale on February 08, 2005, 04:20:42 pm ---I was a jerk to most of my girlfriends growing up, all the way up until I was about 23. I really just didn't care.
--- End quote ---
I hate that, specifically this whole concept. I was the NICEST guy in high school. I mean, I went out of my way to help people when it wasn't necessary. When dating, I treated my dates like queens. I was a total gentleman, raised by folks of the WWII generation and had manners noone in my age group had.
People constantly took advantage of me and screwed me over. Girls especially, I would go out with a girl and treat her royally and it was always just a matter of time before they cheated on me with the A-hole. Any a-hole. They would then leave me for said A-hole, who would cheat on them, beat them, treat them like subhumans. And this happened EVERY TIME. I can't tell you how many times I heard you're hot but you're such a nice guy you're more valuable as a friend right before a girl would leave for a date with a guy who treated them like garbage.
So, to sum it up, by being an A-hole, you got all the girls I couldn't have by being an attractive, friendly, respectful gentleman. You tell me who won.
danny_galaga:
--- Quote from: APFelon on February 09, 2005, 09:37:43 am ---
--- Quote from: danny_galaga on February 09, 2005, 05:51:28 am ---
and what you've just said ISN'T some sort of magic bullet?
--- End quote ---
Did you trouble yourself to read what I wrote? I basically told him to comfort himself somehow while all of the stuff goes down. Is that a magic bullet like "play hard to get" or "treat her bad so she wants you back?"
Yeesh.
APf
--- End quote ---
yep. all of it cliches. yours, theirs, mine. although i must admit the worst cliche is the 'play hard to get' type. not something i would suggest either
CCM:
Well, I don't know Seph at all, but I have to lean towards ChadTower's assessment. I don't think I would have put it so bluntly, but the basic idea is there. She is away at school experiencing things that Seph has no idea about or that Seph doesn't fit into. Seph seems to be in the same place he was when they met all those years ago. She is moving on with school, and eventually a career of some sort.
A lot of times in this situation, the two people just grow apart, or one of them grows, and the other doesn't. It's a bad situation, and I feel bad for you Seph, but it seems like she wants to move on to something else. I think the best thing would be to end it all together. Stop calling each other, stop seeing each other, and see what happens. You never know, you may end up back together, or you may never speak to each other again. Ultimately, you're both young and will get over this. You're only 20! I didn't have a serious relationship until I met my wife when I was 27, and I didn't get married until I was 31.