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Software Problems: Wife1.0
patrickl:
I always liked the spec sheet for wifes:
LOOKING FOR A WIFE ?
Hardware Requirements:
1.Pleasant screen and chassis.
2.Moderate size disk drives.
3.Must come with original manufacturer write-protect tab.
4.Must be easily interconnectable to accessories such as
vacuum cleaners, ovens, brooms, washing machines, etc.
Software Requirements:
1.Compiler for IOHL (International Obedient Housewife Language)
basic command subset (e.g. clean, wash, cook, "of course dear").
2.Single-user mode ONLY.
3.Very-user-friendly interface.
4.Word "no" must not appear in /usr/dict/words.
ChadTower:
It should also have an optional add on to replace single user mode with like model compatibility upon request.
stevejt:
I had a similar problem with the wife program. Aparrently my version was a beta, v0.24. It should never have been released. I finally realized that wife 0.24 monitored all system activity, and also began installing itself into all other programs I tried to run. I too, unsucessfully tried to run the uninstall program. It's worthless... Then it realized it! wife 0.24 was a VIRUS!!!!!!!!!! I tried to manually uninstall it... No luck. I unfortunately, had to run a very expensive VIRUS REMOVAL PROGRAM- Lawyer v4500.00 When I installed my lawyer program, I immadiately ran the divorce command. That's when the version of your lawyer, virus removal program really matters. When I ran the divorce command, the wife virus responded by trying to DELETE my CUSTODY file. Can you beleive that! Luckily the wife program could only respond with a pirated copy of Lawyer v1500, which is no match for v4500. It took a while, but the divorce command was finally completed. Though i now seem to think that the wife program might be part worm... Remnants of the program show up here and there. But it''s not a problem anymore, just an inconvience.
Be careful... I was tricked into upgrading. I had no idea at the time that letting the girlfriend program run the nekkid command, (and a few others) IMMEDIATELY SHUT DOWN MY COMMON SENSE APPLICATION!!!!!!!!! Apparently it diverts all system resources from the common sense program to your hardware. Everyone knows you can't let your hardware run your system...
danny_galaga:
i did once use someone elses wife 1.0 software. in this instance it was easy to retro back to (a different) girlfriend 7.0. very easy once he found out about it :o
geomartin:
Attention Wife 1.0 users:
Several flaws have been found in the Wife 1.0 program. Several users have complained about malfunctioning communications ports on thier system once Wife 1.0 is installed, including loss of Bi-directional communication. USB joysticks cannot be plugged into communications ports in most cases. Standard Game Port Joysticks often have invalid or incorrect inputs after installing Wife 1.0, and attempting calibration forces Wife 1.0 into sleep mode. Users also should not attempt accessing Girlfriend 7.0 on other systems, as this usually leaves behind cookies that are easily detected by the Wife 1.0 Firewall, triggering its anti-virus software which attempts a complete hard drive format to remove the cookies left behind by Girlfriend 7.0. A patch can be downloaded that upgrades Wife 1.0 to Ex-Wife 1.0, which will allow users to attempt to load Girlfriend 7.0 once more. However it is hard to get Girlfriend 7.0 to become stable because Ex-Wife 1.0 requires at least half of the systems resources. Older system may not have enough resources to run Girlfriend 7.0. ;D