| Main > Everything Else |
| . |
| << < (4/28) > >> |
| JDFan:
--- Quote from: ChanceKJ on November 05, 2015, 03:49:14 am ---I guess, Here's my point: a lot of the people who I see in healthy relationships have a mutual understanding about what makes the other happy. And then don't feel guilt when they consider buying something that they like. Married or not, I've had my fair share of relationships, and I'm no expert, but I do know this: I would personaly not chose to be with someone who made me feel guilt, or made me feel implied guilt for buying something I knew I could afford (time/space/money wise) that makes me happy. Recently in the last year I've bought 6 new arcade cabinets, not once did I get hastled for them, the money I spent, not the time I've spent on them. That includes 3 out of province trips, and even one failed attempt to freight a cab from Texas to Alberta (buyer backed out). She knows this makes me happy, and will continue to support me by listening to my rants on car trips, asking questions, and playing the odd game of Mario Bros along side me. My question is: why? Why deal with the guilt of not being happy? If you have the space, the bills have been paid, and you have a chance to add to your arcade collection, why shouldn't you? --- End quote --- There in lies the problem in many cases -- IF you have the other bills paid and there is extra left to buy something that makes you happy then asking about buying it is probably not going to cause a problem - unless everytime it is an arcade or something that makes you happy that the excess is spent on and never something that makes her happy !! But what happens when the money is spent and then the car breaks down or some other expense comes up that wasn't planned on or the money spent was needed to pay the bills or she had already found something that makes her happy to spend it on ? - what would you say if she went out and spent $1000 on a new designer purse that made her happy ( or 6 of them in the last year ?? ) without at least talking to you about spending the $. You act like you just bought them without discussing it at all which I'm pretty sure is not the case - so it's more like you got "Spouse Approval" and she was fine with it not like you went out for the 6th time and came home with another arcade without first discussing it - so whether you think you are getting "spousal Approval or not it sure sounds like you have even though she has it arranged so you don't think you have !! :dunno |
| Aceldamor:
--- Quote --- I like this CheffoJeffo guy. --- End quote --- +1 I see your point Chance. You are in a place where you have the support "built in" it sounds like. Having said that Cheffo has pretty much nailed it on the head. It's about mutual respect. Most money pools are shared and it's not only the responsible, but also the right thing to do to discuss an expense like arcade building / collecting with your significant other to make sure budgets can support the hobby. If they cannot support the entire hobby all up front, if also affords the opportunity to budget together and like Cheffo said, get them involved from jump street. My wife has ALWAYS been supportive of my hobbies and they aren't cheap, (arcade, retro game collecting, miniature war gaming) but that doesn't mean I don't discuss significant purchases with her first. She extends the same courtesy my way when she would like to support her hobbies. |
| yotsuya:
--- Quote from: Aceldamor on November 05, 2015, 10:09:07 am ---My wife has ALWAYS been supportive of my hobbies and they aren't cheap, (arcade, retro game collecting, miniature war gaming) but that doesn't mean I don't discuss significant purchases with her first. She extends the same courtesy my way when she would like to support her hobbies. --- End quote --- Exactly. When I started in with my first MAME cab 5 years ago, I offered to put it out back on the patio, but my wife was OK with it going in our family room. When we redid our house, I got the family room and turned it into a game room, with her blessing. I will admit to being one of those "it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" types when it came to filling the game room, but I also wouldn't be a tool and start putting games in the kitchen or encroach on our other family space. 15 games later, I'm at my limit. Anything new coming in means something has to come out. I also have gotten some games she likes, which adds to our family enjoyment. And I know she won't admit it, but when we have parties and she shows the gameroom to new friends, I can tell she's proud of it. She has one "rule" right now - no pins unless we get a bigger house - and I'm fine with that. Now, that one dude a few months ago who said he was doing 6 buttons per person on a 4 player panel because his girlfriend wanted symmetry? GTFO. |
| yotsuya:
--- Quote from: ChanceKJ on November 05, 2015, 03:49:14 am ---My question is: why? Why deal with the guilt of not being happy? If you have the space, the bills have been paid, and you have a chance to add to your arcade collection, why shouldn't you? --- End quote --- My take is that the guys who post about getting spousal approval don't have the space or the financial flexibility to "just do it". Especially with the influx of 4 foot wide cabs and dozens of LEDs - if you don't have a dedicated game room, a cab is going to stick out in your living space like 500 lb (226.79618 Kilograms for you Canadians) gorilla. |
| pbj:
Frankly, I've got better things to do than worry about how other people handle their relationships. "The wife says no" will never cease to be an annoying excuse, but I recognize that it's usually coming from a coward that wants to deflect blame and can't admit he changed his mind or can't really afford it. Both of those are perfectly reasonable excuses, no need to throw a third party under the bus. |
| Navigation |
| Message Index |
| Next page |
| Previous page |