| Main > Everything Else |
| Bye? |
| << < (7/33) > >> |
| deadmoney5:
This thread is turning into a right-wing blog site The dude needs professional help for depression...not simple "pull up your bootstraps" or "quit being the victim" slogans. |
| Vigo:
--- Quote from: Xiaou2 on June 02, 2015, 01:21:40 am ---Im Feeling slayed. Having trouble dealing all of this. Its doubtful things will improve much, if at all. In time, as my age progresses further, my allergies will no doubt get even worse.. Making life even more impossible than it has been. --- End quote --- Are you kidding man? You have some really positive things going for you. You will get the unemployment rolling in soon, and you got a place to stay and your van is fixed. If you have no job income, then you should qualify for state paid medicaid, and if your allergies are incapacitating, then you can go into the hospital as much as you need to get yourself treated and put on a manageable health plan. You should also be able to get food stamps to help you buy food that fits your diet. Enroll for those programs as soon as possible. In my area, there are a ton of jobs to be had. I know for a fact that there is plenty of job openings in the food service management that will more than pay the bills, and to be honest, they need pedantic people like you most of all. This is a fight and a daily struggle, but that is the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- that makes you a better, stronger person. We are pulling for you. :cheers: |
| leapinlew:
--- Quote from: dkersten on June 02, 2015, 10:51:38 am --- --- Quote from: Xiaou2 on June 02, 2015, 01:33:42 am --- --- Quote from: Zakk on June 01, 2015, 01:21:56 pm ---Life is what you make of it, not what it makes of you. If things aren't working for you long term, time to change everything you're doing because you're doing it wrong. Again and again it's "life isn't fair", well no, it's not. But it is what it is. --- End quote --- Insensitive, uncompassionate, worthless drivel. --- End quote --- Frankly I think it is this attitude that will keep you down in life. I am not saying this to be a dick or to kick you when you are down - I would say the same thing (and have) to my own kids. You have not made a lot of friends on this forum, yet when you announce that you are going through a rough time there has been nothing but compassion and caring shown. Rather than stomp on that, embrace it and use it to lift your spirits. I spent a couple years on a divorce forum after my divorce, and I didn't always like what people had to say, but the fact is they were right most of the time. It isn't always easy to hear that you have "made your own bed" but sometimes you have to hear it. You got the shorter end of the stick in many ways, and for that I am sorry for you. You can spend your life blaming others or you can own your situation and take measures to fix it. You will never fix it as long as you are wasting your energy pointing fingers and feeling sorry for yourself. Don't focus on the abuse you suffered as a child, focus on the things that help you get past the PTSD it created in your life. I needed some counseling when I became depressed after my divorce, so I went to my local church and made use of their pastoral counselors, which was free of charge. They didn't preach to me or try to convert me, they were properly schooled therapists who were doing an internship. It helped me get through something I didn't think I could get through. Don't focus on the fact that you have a food allergy that is dragging you down, focus on what foods are causing it and make efforts to avoid them so you can feel better. You have access to the internet, start learning about what is causing your issues and how to avoid them. My daughter was allergic to wheat and apples as a child. About 95% of all food is made with either wheat or apples (as a sweetener), so it was not easy. Don't focus on the fact that you are unemployed, focus on where you can go next and how you can use this to make your life better. Now that you aren't employed you have nothing tying you down for 24 hours each day. That is a lot of time you could be spending finding a new job. You have a friend who saw you needed help and held out a hand, and you are focused on how crappy the neighborhood is. Why not focus on how much better you have it than you would if he hadn't reached out to help? I have had the privilege of knowing some very successful people in my life. They will all tell you the same thing: "The harder I work, the luckier I get." Amazingly, nearly everyone who has worked their ass off and been successful at what they are working on will tell you that focus, dedication, and lots of hard work is what got them there. It doesn't happen overnight. I spent the first 10 years of my adult life drowning in debt, fielding collector calls, sometimes dozens each night, not sleeping well because I didn't know if I could pay for daycare, food, or the rent for my trailer. Then when things first turned around for me and I had $2k in savings for the first time in my life, my wife's transmission failed and it cost me $2k to fix. I was devastated until my dad asked me where I would have gotten the money if I hadn't had it in savings. The answer was I would be in more debt, and I realized the difference between being happy and being unhappy was in the way I looked at things, not in my situation. A positive outlook will do more for you in life than any skill or good fortune. Instead of facing each day with dread, face it with a positive outlook and a smile. Wake up and tell yourself that this day is not going to defeat you, you are going to take control of it and master it like you have mastered other things in your life. Good luck. --- End quote --- :applaud: This is a very well written piece. Good job. I wanted you to know that even if others do not hear what you are saying, it reached me loud and clear. Well done. |
| Vigo:
I agree. That was a really, really good post. :cheers: A couple weeks ago a lot a stuff came at me all at once. I was a wreck, then this song came on the radio and it really picked me up. Wouldn't you know it, I went from fearing about losing my job to getting a raise in less than 24 hours. Edit: Can't seem to embed right now. |
| dkersten:
--- Quote from: deadmoney5 on June 02, 2015, 11:21:07 am ---This thread is turning into a right-wing blog site The dude needs professional help for depression...not simple "pull up your bootstraps" or "quit being the victim" slogans. --- End quote --- A positive attitude is venting about things that suck to get them off your chest and maybe get some feedback, then turning off the internet and going back to working on fixing it. A negative attitude is venting about it then going on about how it isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do about it except suffer, then using that to justify your negative attitude. The second one will never end in successfully overcoming your issues. That is the only message being portrayed here. If it is "right wing" then I guess that would make "right wing" correct. You are correct that overcoming depression is not as simple as just "pulling up your panties and getting a job", but X2 has 3 issues right now that all need addressing: his health, his employment status, and his depression. If he ignores what is causing the first two, he will never fix the third, and if he doesn't address the third, he will always struggle to do anything about the first two. He does need to seek help for the depression, it is very difficult to deal with that on your own. I offered the way that worked for me that didn't cost any money, and since he is unemployed and needs help, I would say it is probably a pretty good option. Welfare, Medicaid, and most government assistance programs are designed for women with kids, and usually men don't qualify for that kind of help unless they are shacked up with a woman who has a kid. Getting on permanent disability is nearly impossible, particularly when the medical condition is manageable. If the fact that some churches have counselors and therapists who can help is too "right wing" for you, then look into non-Christian programs that offer that kind of help. From what I have seen, they are hard to find and are very difficult to get into and not all that helpful if you do get in. I lived with a wife who was clinically depressed for nearly 20 years, yet never understood it and figured she just needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. I found after going through depression myself that it was not even close to that simple to overcome. Yet feeling sorry for yourself is how you end up being depressed, and no amount of therapy or medication will get and keep you out of the dark hole of depression if you keep having the outlook on life that will put you right back in that place. People who are chronically depressed have other issues in their life that they won't address that keep the chemicals in their brain unbalanced. One of the exercises my therapist taught me was whenever I was feeling negative about something to spend no more than 15 minutes feeling miserable and sorry for myself, then stop and look at the facts, not at what I was feeling. In most cases, the facts were not that the world was against me but rather that I was just feeling sorry for myself and things weren't as bad as I had built them up in my mind. As for health issues, he isn't the only one dealing with them right now, and I can say first hand that if I had a negative attitude about it I would be deep into a depression by now. It is nobodies fault that he has health problems, but it is also nobody else's problem to deal with and he is the only one who can do anything about it. My daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 4 years ago. She refuses to take her insulin, and if she doesn't it will end up killing her. The more she fights what she has to change in her life to minimize the damage caused by this disease, the more health problems she will have as she goes down the road. Her attitude is negative, she is mad that others can eat certain foods and not have to give themselves shots 4-6 times per day, but once she accepts it and embraces that this is just what she has to do, she will prevent things like severe nerve pain, blindness, fingers and toes dying, kidney failure, and of course death. Instead of looking at his allergies as a weight that is dragging him down and keeping him pinned, he should be taking every possible measure to learn exactly what triggers the problems and avoid them at all costs. This is the ONLY thing that will get him past this and allow him to take financial care of himself from this day forward. If he chooses to ignore it then he will never be able to hold a job because nobody will keep an employee who calls in sick once or twice a week, especially when they could avoid being sick with some discipline and self sacrifice. If this is a "right wing" ideal it is because it is grounded in reality, not based on some fantastical idea that an all powerful government will come to him with a magic wand and make it all go away. In the real world, workers who are unreliable don't succeed (unless they have government jobs of course). Fix the health issues and holding a job will be much easier. Hold a job for a while and the financial issues start to become manageable. It isn't some easy path but it starts with a positive attitude and a lot of hard work. |
| Navigation |
| Message Index |
| Next page |
| Previous page |