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| deadmoney5:
There's always going to be people who were born on 3rd base and think they hit a triple. Donald Trump, Paris Hilton, Kardashians come to mind. |
| BadMouth:
Once upon a time, I was arrogant. (maybe still am, but nothing like I used to be) I thought if everyone just did the things I did, made the good decisions I made, and thought like me....then their life would be great like mine. Then life handed ---my bottom--- to me. Before that, I'd probably dealt unfairly with depressed coworkers and subordinates who I thought just refused to get their ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- together. In retrospect, I see they were dealing with depression and just trying to get through another day. I was wrong and should have been more empathetic. The weird part is that before becoming an arrogant ass, I was depressed and dysfunctional. I thought I had fought my way through, been rewarded for good decisions, and was enjoying the life I built for myself. I too have come to view life as a crapshoot and I just got a few lucky rolls during that stage of my life. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. .....and always remember to wear sunscreen. |
| Le Chuck:
I don't see how self congratulation or self berating adjusts the outcome of one's decisions after the fact, but I certainly see how self pity can keep you from making good decisions in the future. My brother has spent his life behind bars due to his decisions. I have worked my way up from the lowest enlisted rank to command formations in the military through mine. My brother has rarely taken responsibility for his decisions whereas I do my darndest to own up to my decisions both right and wrong (like posting in this thread, which is a wrong decision). I see that as the defining characteristic between us and one of the characteristics I find prevalent in influential leaders in my life. My brother was the smarter, better looking, and more athletic of the two of us, hell the guy even has (had?) perfect pitch. We had nearly identical upbringings so what was the deal? He got a case of bad luck, a bad roll of the die? Not buying it. He his culpable for his life as I am culpable for mine. |
| Vigo:
X, I just have to say you do seem a bit focused on the past here. All things aside, you are in a tough place, but I don't know what your childhood necessarily has to do with your plan to better your situation. Does whether or not you were picked last in gym class going to change your plan to get a new job? Does being sick in Kindergarten mean that you are not going to do everything in your power to to find a real place to live? You can't change your past, but you can choose whether or not to let it eat away at your future. You shouldn't be bothering with the questions of if an abusive father is what got you here, you should be asking the questions of how to get out of the mess. That is the here and now, and that is what matters. A number of people posted very valuable and practical advice. Welfare, file bankruptcy, go on food stamps, get medicaid, stay at a YMCA or other boarding place, seek help at a church, etc. I am a bit surprised you haven't made a single comment towards any of that advice given. You come back here fight with Zakk because his pill is too bitter to swallow, and point out how your past got you here. You got people doing trying there hardest here to offer you the best of their experiences, knowledge and kindness trying to help you pick yourself up because they care. Maybe converse on the help given with a troubleshooting mindset and you might be able to solve a few problems. :) And I say this all with the sincerest attitude, because I really do care about you. :cheers: Good Luck and look towards the future. |
| dkersten:
EXCELLENT post Le Chuck I too believe that if I lost my job, I would have another before my short term savings ran out, and in the worst case scenarios, I would dip into retirement savings which would last me another year or two. Those savings accounts didn't magically appear, and while I am fortunate that I am doing decently financially, it took many years of sacrifice and work to get what I have. If my house burned to the ground, as long as nobody was hurt it would be great. I would still have the property and my insurance would pay for a nicer house and nicer stuff than I have now. Heck, I would probably add money into it to come up with something better. I am already divorced, and between the divorce and other stuff with my kids, as well as some failed relationships after divorce, I spiraled to a low point that literally nearly ended my life. I sought help, the toughest thing I ever did, and between that help and my own will to have a better life, I pulled out of it (took nearly two years) and I am a better person for it. I don't think I am arrogant for feeling that if others worked as hard as I did that they could be happy in life. I believe that for everything that is good, something equally bad will come along to balance it out. No matter how hard you work, how good of a person you are to others, or how much you try to do the right thing, bad stuff is going to happen. It is simply a fact of life. Also, everyone has a bad part of their personality, something dark and evil, and chances are the more "good" they appear on the outside, the darker they are on the inside. As soon as you can accept that bad stuff will happen to you and there is nothing you can do to stop it, and the people in your life will most likely let you down at some point, you can just move on from it. It's life, and if you want to be happy, quit worrying about when you will be hurt by it next time. It is coming, and how you react and recover is what will determine your future, nothing else. You may never make as much as I do even if you work twice as hard, but I guarantee if you live beneath your means you will always stay out of debt. You may never meet someone you will love, but if you keep trying you will find moments of happiness. You may never have the best health in the world, but if you exercise and don't eat horribly you will be healthier than if you don't. It isn't about comparing your life with others, it is about finding what you love most about life and working to keep that. |
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