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| yotsuya:
--- Quote from: pbj on June 16, 2015, 12:45:23 pm --- --- Quote from: yotsuya on June 16, 2015, 12:05:16 pm ---I'd just as soon not know people's political leanings, especially if they veer too far in either direction. --- End quote --- When I haunted it, I was surprised at how many users posted just in that section and no others. They rarely had any involvement in the hobby whatsoever. Do what thou wilt but it seemed unusual to seek out political and religious arguments on an arcade related forum that you weren't particularly invested in. --- End quote --- I noticed that, too. That stuff just isn't for me. It's bad enough when family members post their nutjob leanings on Facebook. I'm not going to actively seek it out. |
| Generic Eric:
--- Quote from: pbj on June 16, 2015, 12:45:23 pm --- --- Quote from: yotsuya on June 16, 2015, 12:05:16 pm ---I'd just as soon not know people's political leanings, especially if they veer too far in either direction. --- End quote --- When I haunted it, I was surprised at how many users posted just in that section and no others. They rarely had any involvement in the hobby whatsoever. Do what thou wilt but it seemed unusual to seek out political and religious arguments on an arcade related forum that you weren't particularly invested in. --- End quote --- I like to watch. And make snarky comments as well as puns in and out of taste. It doesn't make for much of thread. I'd have just as much success convincing a person to read a Canticle for Lebowitz as I would persuade them to adopt a political view. That said, everyone should read that book. We wouldn't see it here on our political forums, but I hope that everyone is active in their own community. If you want a library in your town, you have to support the library. Everyone should read up on municipal internet. The last thing I'll say in about politics out in the open is that a person can have whatever ideology they want, but everyone should feel welcome, nay, obligated! to call them on ---That which is odiferous and causeth plants to grow--- when it is presented as fact. ---- As far as OP... Get help. If you are savvy enough to get internet in your situation, find yourself some help/peace. |
| pbj:
Another odd book along similar themes is The Eleventh Commandment by Lester Del Rey. You'd probably enjoy it. |
| Xiaou2:
Never once when someone asked me for advice.. from a really bad situation, did I ever, nor would I ever say "Your doing it wrong". That IS elitists, insensitive, and Assumptive. Roll a set of dice, and if a 6 pops up... "Your doing it wrong!" ??? Now, what if you roll that 6 three times in a row... ??? Still your fault? This is simply random chaos. You could get hit by lightning, mugged by gunpoint, and get a bad virus.. all in the same week. You just cant label everything that life lays down, as a "Choice", or Your Fault. Is it your fault if you have a bad deformity.. and have a hard time getting people to actually Hire you? (I dont, but its valid example) Zakk, you sound like one of those "Perfectionist Elitists"... whom with very little applied effort, you can pretty much figure out and master things quickly... and probably are rolling your eyes, and calling others "Stupid Idiots" and laying down harsh criticisms left and right. Your probably ONLY ever happy when you are getting your way. And you probably stoop to any means, to get your way. Because you simple dont have a conscience, nor any empathy. Borderline psychopath? Probably a Bipolar and ADD mix, possible phobic tendencies. Ahh, thats right... I just happened to run into such a person, who seemed quite nice. Moved in. Helped him with some things... then quickly found out that he matched that very definition. Bat Crap Crazy. Ill be heading back to sleep in the minivan again tomorrow morning. Yay! My fault, for not bringing a professional psychologist to talk to him first ehh? My bad! Well, guess I should never have spilled the Debt figures.. mostly because people dont seem to understand the Relativity to the circumstances. 13k isnt much if your making a steady mid grade income. Sadly, without a college backing, only a handful of jellybeans in my head, jobs tend to be low paying and usually contract / temporary. Add a 80% food cost increase.. and then, take out the family / wife / GF help factor. Splitting costs always helps greatly financially. Yeah, I did it wrong... mostly in my younger years. Who could blame me. I was a kid in poverty, given no love.. only verbal and mental abuses, by family, and outside of school. I was told I wouldnt amount to anything daily... and threatened to be kicked out every few weeks. Hated life, myself, my horribly crooked teeth. (Dentists quoted repairs later in life to be over 11k) My girlish looks (as a kid). That I was thin and weak.. and couldnt put on muscle mass / weight. Always tired all the time. Always hungry. Didnt have any nice clothing to wear. Almost no toys to speak of. No personal radio, until I was maybe in 8th grade. Uncoordinated.. always picked last in gym. Slow in school... the last one to finish a test. Poor memory retention. Horrible with woman... didnt have a girlfriend until age 20... and she was a user + abuser. I was neglected and alone most of my early life, and I constantly felt like there was a hole in my chest that burned in fire pains. The pain of being completely alone, and unloved, was nearly unbearable. My desperation for attention and affection, with no self worth or value... would later cause me to accept bad treatment from woman ... as it was all I felt that I deserved. With so much hate, abuse, sadness, and depression ... I really didnt care much about life. Thought about suicide regularly for much of my life. When I wasnt thinking about suicide, I was often in and out of deep depression states. Id sit for hours, watching people chat in chatrooms... feeling horrible and in tears, wishing I had what it took to be able to connect, afford, and Deserve a loving relationship. I had bouts when I was torn up about not having a loving and supportive family... somehow thinking that if only that were so... Id feel and be a much stronger person... As such, a person like this isnt paying much if any attention in school. Doesnt think he has a future worth investing in. Only thinks about what he can do... to survive each day. It took me more than half of my life to slay all of the demons. Stopping the recycled negative impressed reactions that both mother and father had subconsciously gifted into me. Growing a sense of humor (not seen here in words, but yeah, I can laugh at my own expense, when its teasing and not actually meant as aggressive / passive aggressive) Learning to smile.. (took like 1 yr to get the muscles in my face developed enough to actually show a smile. Thats how bad I felt back then , almost never had a reason to smile.) To learn to accept myself and my flaws. Took martial arts and gained actual grace, strength, skill and power. Got better with woman... though sadly... always seemed to catch the psychos. Got myself out from merely washing dishes... into other areas of skills... such as computer repair. Never would have imagined back then, that I would have ended up being a store manger, or anything tech related. Ive pushed myself hard... but still, I have cranial limitations. The capable people always say "Ohh, you can do that... its Easy!". They have no idea what its like to be missing some wires. They have a F1 race car up stairs... and I have a rusted out Yugo. Turned out that the Allergies to wheat, probably caused such a slow and poorly developed brain... as well as other things. FYI: In Kindergarten, I missed more than half of it because I was always sick. I also remember the very pictures on the walls were moving and talking at times... I had a runaway imagination or something. Went away by 1st grade or before. Got sent to Pre-first, due to missing so much kindergarten. It was discovered I had Dyslexia (seeing and writing letters / numbers upside down, backwards..etc), I also had a speech impediment. Couldnt make the "S" sound. Funny, being that my name is Steve. Always slow and last to finish tests. Having a really difficult time. They thought I would get injured badly in gym class, due to my small size and frail nature... so they tried to lump me into the mentally handicapped group. I was slow... but not like that. I was pissed. Fought hard, and got myself back in regular gym, and regular classes. Dyslexia seemed to correct itself. (I think I still have it.. but brain has developed a decoder routine.. which may limited my brains full potentials) And overcame the speech issues. In 1st grade, even after being held back a year, and starting late... I was the shortest kid in the class, including the woman. It would be years before that changed... and even then, I really didnt get strong and bulk a little but, till I was in my mid twenties. I was 6ft tall, 145 lbs, with a 31 waist, before age 20. After the arts I get to something between 150 - 165.. 32" waist. Older and desk jobs...and Ive hit a slightly gushy midsection of 35- 36" @ 180 lbs. Forgot to add... I did eventually get over my loneliness issues, after meeting a few too many insane woman. It was fun for a while... but now Im fairly scared to get into any relationship.. and Im quite fine being by myself now. I also overcame the crappy parent thing... after I realized how messed up they were... and that they never were going to change. They would always be poison, and I just didnt need them to feel good about myself. In fact, its was quite the opposite. They kept me in a bad place... where as good friends helped support and elevate me. Ive proudly not spoken to either of them in over 10 yrs. I also cut myself from all the rest of the family, after seeing that they all had the same toxic mental health issues. I happened to be the least effected in that manor... luckily. Father - A psychopathic narcissist, with phobias, ADD, and some Bipolarism. Compulsive gambler, insanely abusive and criminally crazy ...when drunk. Mother - Also Bipolar. Both experts at manipulation, and abuse. I dont tell my story for attention, or sympathy. I tell it for those it may help. |
| dkersten:
Perhaps my biggest flaw is not being able to let something go... Sometimes things happen out of your control. Having a crappy and abusive father, for example. Nothing you could have done would ever have changed that. But being struck by lightning, that is almost 100% avoidable. Getting mugged at gunpoint, again, probably 99% avoidable. When things like this happen, you have a choice, you can wallow in self pity about it or you can admit to yourself that you made the mistake of dancing in the rain under a tall tree during a lightning storm, or taking a shortcut through the alley downtown at 2 am. My brother got mugged once.. was at a bar on New Years Eve, woke up 6 hours later in the hospital. After a few weeks he pieced together what happened. He didn't want to stand in lines at the nicer bars, so he went to a dive bar. He got money from the ATM inside the bar with shady patrons watching. He hit on some skanky chick who probably dropped a rufie in his drink while he was getting cash, and then he cut through a dark park instead of sticking to the well lit sidewalks that added 200 feet to his walk home. They hit him in the head with a crowbar and he faceplanted on the asphalt walkway. He still has bad scars on his face. But he admits he was completely at fault. It was his own stupidity. What did he do about it? He stopped going to bars like that, he moved out of downtown after saving for a few years, and never did the things that lead to it. He learned from his mistakes. There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. There is nothing wrong with admitting you made mistakes. But until you own up to the responsibilities, you will keep making mistakes. Instead, you hide from them but still make them. You dated crazy women.. First off, all women are crazy, but some less so. Instead of learning what attracts women, you just curled up and stopped dating. So you are lonely now and pretend you love being lonely. I have been hurt by women a lot, especially in the past 5 years. I was much like you as a kid, the geek, the nerd, the physically unable, shunned by the guys, ignored by the girls. Didn't have a real girlfriend until 18 years old and out of high school. Married the GF I got pregnant (and turned out I wasn't even the one who knocked her up, although I raised the boy as my own and 22 years later he is my son in every way as far as I am concerned). I got married because I felt it was the easier way to go, and after 17 years I finally couldn't bear it any more. I have fallen in love since then, had my heart broken so badly I am still cautious. I am not handsome, I am not rich, and I am not athletic, but I have women banging down the doors to get to me these days. My steady GF for the last couple years has been a former stripper, crazy in a bottle, but fun as hell to be with. I keep her at arms length and just enjoy the ride without the roller coaster of emotions. I have a handful of female friends who would all date me in a second if I allowed it, and some of them are potentially good partners. The point is, I went from being that guy in high school and even college who didn't know how to talk to a girl, couldn't attract any but the really crazy, fat, and desperate ones, and in general had no idea what I was doing to admitting that I am the one who influences my destiny. I learned what makes women tick and how to pick them up, then learned what they really are like inside so I am not just playing them, and since then I have been able to find satisfaction in my life in that department. I would say it isn't rocket science, but really it can be more than rocket science. I will give you a hint though: If you don't love yourself and aren't happy, women won't even give you a second glance. Look, you had some things in your life that sucked growing up, and those are now your crutch. You need to learn how to be happy with your life, and as long as your past is a crutch you aren't going to find that happiness, and all the things that have gotten you down are going to keep happening until you ask yourself how each one happened. Nobody is in control of anything, but you have influence over how your life goes. If you can't figure out how to influence things in your direction then you might as well just give up and curl up in a corner and let the world keep pounding you into nothing. It will never happen over night, it will never be an easy road, and you WILL have failures. Failure is just practice for success. Sure, some of this might sound cliché, but it's because it's the truth. Start by telling yourself that you are better than all this, because until you believe that you won't ever make it any further in life. |
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