Main > Main Forum
BYOACers helping BYOACers
Le Chuck:
--- Quote from: claremont on October 11, 2012, 08:32:34 pm ---My point was, if you want to HELP, then TRY TO UNDERSTAND. That was the most frustrating part of being widowed for me. The fact that people wanted to help, but very few made the effort to understand what I was going through. And of course, I dont blame them. Writing a check is easy, but impersonal. Widow(er)s dont want your money. They dont want your sympathy. They desperately want someone to understand what the hell they are going through, at a time when not even THEY understand.
So if you think my post had ulterior motives, or was poorly placed then you have no idea where I am coming from, and that is OK, but dont dare consider this a spam post. Unless you have been there and done that, you have no idea.
Send him a copy? I will do one better. Every penny from every sale for the next thirty days goes stright to his fund. The only reason the book is 99 cents is because I cant price it any lower per amazon rules.
--- End quote ---
Cool beans! Copy purchased.
CheffoJeffo:
--- Quote from: claremont on October 11, 2012, 08:32:34 pm ---My point was, if you want to HELP, then TRY TO UNDERSTAND. That was the most frustrating part of being widowed for me. The fact that people wanted to help, but very few made the effort to understand what I was going through. And of course, I dont blame them. Writing a check is easy, but impersonal. Widow(er)s dont want your money. They dont want your sympathy. They desperately want someone to understand what the hell they are going through, at a time when not even THEY understand.
--- End quote ---
I am so very sorry for your loss and I thank you for lending insight into something that the rest of us can't possibly understand.
Having said that, your specific experience is colouring your commentary a particular shade that ignores the other issues at play (finances, time and a little boy with quite a list of challenges) and misses the point of what we are trying to do. None of us can truly understand what this guy is going through. Not you. Not me.
I understand your frustration (how many people do you think can even understand what it is like having a child with Autism ... not just the emotion and strain, but the dollar cost and crushing restrictions on personal time), but there is no need to belittle the efforts of others simply because you see the world through a differently-shaded lens.
Craig has posted that he lacks the time and money to finish building his cab, even though he really wants a cab. We can get him a cab and we can get him some money.
If you believe that to be easy, impersonal and not particularly helpful, then I am sorry -- we are doing what we can.
ChadTower:
Have we heard back from him? Do we have any real contact info? I want to get something set up while folks are still willing to donate. I need a way to get the cash to him before I open up the donations.
CheffoJeffo:
He hasn't been back yet. I will try to get you contact info today.
EDIT: I have the account information for the trust and the funeral home is going to let him know and pass along my contact information.
ChadTower:
I have the trust info from Cheffo. It looks like the best way to do this is for me to handle the process and Cheffo himself can make the trust deposit in person at a Bank of Montreal branch.
I'm thinking I can set up a dedicated paypal account and then transfer the money to Cheffo at some predetermined date. How does that sound to everybody else?