This is my 2nd attempt to post here. My lap top seems to b acting up, I get so far into writing the post, & then it locks up. So now I'm trying again, on my wife's ipad.
Finally, I got a chance to follow CheffoJeffo's link to this thread. All I can say is, guys, this is so, so far over the top. I had no idea I'd find so much here. The outpouring of sympathy, advise, suggestions, aid, its been...overwhelming. What can I say? Thanks? Not nearly enuf. Please, if no one else does, I'm going to try to keep this thread going (no promises, I'm swamped, as u might imagine), so that I can pay it forward to any1 & every1 else on my favourite forum who can use any kind of help.
I also had no idea that this was started specifically 4 me & Harrison. I thot it was a thread that had existed 4 a while that I simply hadn't known about. U can bet I"m going to try to explain to him what this is, & who u guys r (not suggesting that he can't understand, hes very high functioning, & very smart, but as he has no xperience with forums...). Again, people...I don't know what to say. I'm at a complete loss. I don't feel I deserve it. I actually feel a bit of guilt. When I started my 'I never thot I'd post anything like this' post, I thot I was just selfishly using this forum as a place to vent where no one else in my family would b likely to c it; &, as I said later there, I'm sorry 4 sharing an xperience that could cause nightmares.
I still haven't had the time to more than scan the many replies to my post, but I have seen many excellent suggestions, most of which my wife had already pursued (Laura was...driven is the correct word...to find each & every source of aid 4 our son). Laura did 90% of the work in the search 4 help 4 us, &, unfortunately, kept the bulk of the results of her work in her head. So now I'm playing a very serious game of catch up. I'm getting there, but it will take time, & I cannot pretend to ever replace my wife, the genius. I was the labourer, she was the brains. I will do my best, & with the help of friends, family, professionals, & near strangers--u guys! we will survive & thrive, & my son will b educated & attain independence & success. But, back to the point, I am trying to pursue the suggestions that sound new to me. Thanks. It'll take time, but I will get there. About education, I did decide over the weekend that, although I'm not yet at the point where I can fully homeschool Harrison, I can start small, & so we began working on reading (yes, just reading) this morning. Harrison will learn reading by 'sight' (best way 4 most with autism), & his recall of words he hasn't reviewed in over 6 nonths (we've been too tied up with Laura's health issues) is surprising.
Many of u have offered contributions to Harrison's trust fund, again, this is amazing. 1 warning, the same I sent in a message to CheffoJeffo--the account the money is going into is, at this point, completely open to me. I c my lawyer this week, dealing with issues of Laura's estate (we hadn't completed our wills--we'd been working them out, & it had literally come down to 1 last appointment, to sign the final papers, when this happened), & I'm going to try to lock down the details of the trust fund then (the thinking at this point is to make it accessible only to Harrison, on his 18th birthday). The point is, if u don't want to trust me, & I could hardly blame u, don't contribute yet. I could 'steal' the money, if I wanted. At this point, all I can do is give u my word, 4 what its worth, that every penny contributed to Harrison's trust fund that goes into that account will b locked in so that only he can get it (as I already said, it seems appropriate that it'll bcome accessible on his 18th birthday, but if the lawyer comes up with an alternative, like, say, that it would go to his guardian, to b used 4 Harrison's care, should anything happen to me...). Again, thank you, thank you, thank you. I have already told Harrison about this, & I'm spreading the word to my father-in-law, other relatives & friends, to let them know of your generosity.
Finally, many of u have talked about getting me an arcade cabinet! This is way above & beyond, but...my...greed...makes me unable to say no. &, honestly, Harrison would love it! Hes developed a love of the classic arcade games (my bad influence), he especially spends a lot of time playing or watching youtube videos about the whole 'ghosts n' goblins' series (also 1 of my favourites). I must admit, with some shame, that when CheffoJeffo pm'd me about this, I actually was brazen enuf to make a specific request. Now, in my undeserved defense, I repeat what I said to him; if u guys scraped together a piece of crap with a stick & a button on it, I'd cherish it, post about it with pride, & scream the names of those who were part of the project to the gods to honour. But, if some1 was willing to build me a cab for pay, I CAN PAY. I saved a considerable chunk of change up over the 6 years of this project, most from my dad's estate, which I've often been tempted to spend on more practical items, only to b ordered by my wife to save it 4 the cab. So, as CheffoJeffo said, I'm after a white elephant. I have the bulk of the parts--all the controls except a steering wheel & pedals (which I might b able to get from mherman--last I was able to communicate with him, he was willing to sell me his Thomas Super Wheel & pedals) (except 4 a few specialty controls, like a DOT handle (I'll mount it on 1 of the u360's I have), & my Star Wars yoke requires some tlc), a monitor, motor, wheel, & controller to rotate it, a stern coin door (requires tlc), tmoulding, elwire & polyethylene trim to make lit-up tmoulding, an i-pac4, a PacLED 64, a rotary joystick interface, & 2 microsoft sidewinder dual strike controllers (for the Star Wars hack--yeah, I know, no 1 does it that way anymore). What I don't have is the time, workshop, tools, wood, paint, artwork, lexan, plexy, all the screws, glue, etc., that would b needed to go with it, or the 24" lcd monitor I wanted 4 the marquee. So what is my white elephant? I have $2500 to pay, & all my parts to contribute, & my personal dignity to sacrifice, to any1 who will build me a 'Ghost in the Machine Mark II' near-clone, the 1 change being the addition of an lcd marquee (see Randy T's project--it's amazing). Its too much to ask for. Let the screams of scorn a derision begin. My priorities should b on my son, & getting my finances in order. I should drop this entire project, & put the money into our survival. But theres my arcade cab dream. It took me 5 years just to realize that what I was after had already been done, & that the 'Ghost' was it. & if any1 will take my money & parts, & build me this thing, I will worship the ground they walk on. God, that was embarrassing to admit. I hope u guys will forgive me for what I can only call my selfishness. My only poor excuses 4 not immediately dropping this project is that I have wanted & worked (in teeny, tiny steps) on this thing for 6 years, & it will b my 1 & only big toy, & that I will share it with any1 who asks. But I really don't feel that thats enuf to justify what I'm asking 4.
Anyway, guys, there it is. I'm going to bed in a few minutes; its almost 1 here, Harrison's tube feed is done (not that that keeps me up, I can sleep while its going, I just have to get up~every 30 minutes to untangle him from the tube & give the formula a stir, not a prob 4 me, & I never have a hard time getting back to sleep), & I have another busy day tomorrow. Thanks again, 4 your advice, your money (!), your offer of the cab, whether it happens or not (& regardless of what form it comes in), & your patience with a guy who (looking back at my last paragraph) has forgotten what his 1st priorities should b. I'll b in touch, I'll honour your suggestions (although it may take me a while, there r other things I have to take care of 1st), & my guilt may yet wake me up & make me drop this project & pour the money I've been hanging onto into my son's trust fund.
Craig Munns