Worst US Theater released movies ever made… 80’s and up

[Trip]

Skyline was definitely annoying in many ways, but at least watchable.

I can watch any bad movie once, twice if I was paid.  Skyline would be early retirement money for me to watch it again.  That's definitely up there with Battlefield Earth and Gigli.

[Trip]

I will defend Indy 4, yes it was dissapointing but it was no Matrix sequels.

Am I the only one who saw Ghost Rider???

Matrix went bad before the sequels.  The last scene of the movie when he flies away, that made me immediately think uh oh, the sequel is gonna suck.

Ghost Rider sucked, but it wasn't worst movie evar suckage.

[Samstag]

Pretty much the same with Battle LA. Chock full of "WTF" but still watchable.

It's easier to appreciate after accidentally renting Battle OF Los Angeles.

[Green Giant]

I know half of you guys must have never seen Batman and Robin.

Batman had nipples.......nipples!!

Wax lips.......yeah, that was how you were immune to poison ivy.


That movie and the Avengers.  God they were so terrible.  The Avengers was actually the first movie I ever fell asleep in at the theater.

[wp34]

The only movies I've ever walked out of at the theater are Mr. Holland's Opus and Closer. There are plenty more that deserved it (even some that probably deserved it more), but those two will always belong to a special club for me.

I hated Mr. Holland's Opus but didn't walk out on it.  Was there anything in-particular that caused you to get up and leave?

It was just so sappy and melodramatic and exploitative and manipulative. Like the director thought (and I think this truly is the case) that he (she?) can get away with absolutely anything so long as (s)he dangles a handicapped child in front of you . . . because you're not going to say anything bad about a handicapped child, right?

It was boring and asinine. Just every second of it awful. But look how beautiful this precious damaged child is . . .

We saw the same movie.  You hit the nail on the head.  It lost me when he was thinking of running away with his student.   

My son's band teacher looks and acts just like Drefus--except he checked-out years ago and is just going through the motions if you look past the facade.  I call him Mr. Holland to my wife.

[Ond]

Bridge to Terebithia.

That's 2 now, do we think alike?,  I enjoyed the 5th Element and hated Terebithia.  Supposedly it was an OK book, but it should have stayed just that, a book. 

I don't think I've ever actually walked out of any movie,  the most 'wrong' I ever got it was taking a new girlfriend to a sensitive love story with plenty of nakedness....but with only males in the lead roles, now I'm not gay nor homophobic but BLOODY HELL          I can't recall the title, maybe the therapy has blocked it out.  Rotten Tomatoes is my indispensable pre-movie strategy!

[SavannahLion]

I avoided mentioning Batman and robin because, quite honestly, I can't remember jack ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- from that movie. All the previous versions kind of become a foggy memory after the Joker reboot. If only he lived.

Where the Wild Things Are. Jesus, I actually forgot about this one. My kids sit through a lot of crap but this one they actually asked me to get rid of. Mind you, they're 4 and 2 so they still like Barney.

Happy Feet I tolerated. I think there's a fan edit somewhere that attempts to thin out the annoying political angle. I'd rather not waste time watching again it though.

I'm surprised someone mentioned Jurassic Park III. Would've thought JPII was worse.

Bridesmaids. One of the very few films I got up and left on. I must be tired as Hell if I forgot this one. Oddly, my wife grew to like this one but keeps falling asleep at the cookie scene. Same scene I got up and left on.

My wife reminded me of two others. Hell Boy and Underworld. I bought both on the recomendation of someone and I find they're outrageously lame. The movies too. I'd sell the movies off but I can't figure out where they are. I don't know what it is about them and I honestly can't see the appeal.

[Malenko]

I love Bio-Dome and I'm not even a pothead.

How are we defining bad? ,bad directing (if so everything Michael Bay ever),bad premise, bad acting?

Worst Overall:
Blair Witch Project, my buddy wouldn't let me get up and leave the theater. He kept saying "I heard good things, it'll get better". It didnt.

Worst Sequel:
3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain  I forgot how ---smurfy--- this movie was until my nephews wanted to watch it a few weeks ago. Worst part? Its not the worst Hulk Hogan movie

Worst Hulk Hogan move:
Tie: all of them. Kidding, no Holds Barred was passable but if you wanna torture someone get Suburban Commando, Santa with Muscles, and Mr.Nanny. For good measure finish them off with the entire series of Thunder in Paradise.

I hate everything Tyler Perry, and most "Black Comedies" By Black Comedies I dont mean great flicks like Fargo, "Very,very,very bad things" and Four Rooms, I mean steaming turds like "Who's Your Caddy?" and "Roscoe's house of Chicken and Waffles"   However, Black Dynamite is epically awesome and is everything that is right with movies.

I also hate pretty much EVERY parody movie after the naked guns (even 33 and 1/3 is kinda meh). Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Scary Movie, Meet the Spartans, Vampires Suck, heck even Airplane II .

I've listed too many as it is.

[Ginsu Victim]

I hate everything Tyler Perry, and most "Black Comedies" By Black Comedies I dont mean great flicks like Fargo, "Very,very,very bad things" and Four Rooms, I mean steaming turds like "Who's Your Caddy?" and "Roscoe's house of Chicken and Waffles"   However, Black Dynamite is epically awesome and is everything that is right with movies.

You at least like the first Friday movie, right?

[Zero_Hour]

Boxing Helena. 1993

It's the film so bad that Kim Bassinger backed out of the movie, and lost millions for breach of contract after doing so doing so. It pretty much bankrupted her. If you've seen the film, I'm sure you'd agree that it was money well spent.

[HaRuMaN]

I liked Friday

 

Friday's a good one.  "It's Friday, you ain't got no job, ain't got ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- to do...  Ima get you high today"

[Donkbaca]

How could you not like hell boy?  Guillermo Del Toro is the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---!

The planet of the apes reboots are abysmal, really any planet of the apes other than the first one is bad.  I LOVE the first one by the way, the way Charleton Heston delivers his epic lines:

"Imagine me needing someone. Back on Earth I never did. Oh, there were women. Lots of women. Lots of love-making but no love. You see, that was the kind of world we'd made. So I left, because there was no one to hold me there"

That is probably the best line ever.  I should package that line with my dolphin training business cards in a how to get laid for nerds kit, just substitute "Earth" for Beverly Hills....

[Bootay]

Donk: I love the first original Planet of the Apes too. the 2nd was awful and 3rd was alright but kind of bad, but the last one was decent...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. I didn't mind the reboots though. I know everyone hates the Burton one but I didn't mind it.

And a few other comments of my opinion...

Friday is probably the only Chris Tucker movie I can watch. Too bad they ruined Friday with all the stupid sequels. I like The Fifth Element but Chris Tuckers character ruins it. So annoying.

The only comic movies I truly hated were Batman & Robin and Spawn. People mention the Adam West Batman movie, but at least you knew what it was going in, with Batman & Robin they took a franchise that was sort of dark and gritty for it's time. (with Forever starting to get stupid and campy) and they turned it into total camp. It wasn't what the series was about. And with Spawn, they took a totally adult story and turned it into a family movie.

Scanners I liked, but I love old horror and I tend to like Cronenberg's old stuff. (Even though some of the pacing is slow compared to more modern movies)

I like Underworld 1 & 2 and Hellboy 1 & 2.

Movies I recall hating at the theater are:

The Talented Mr. Ripley
Spawn (As previously mentioned)
Eyes Wide Shut
Vanilla Sky
Jason Goes to Hell

[Donkbaca]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

[HaRuMaN]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

HBO's animated Spawn were actually pretty good.  The live action movie?  Man, they ruined that...

[Vigo]

Donk: I love the first original Planet of the Apes too. the 2nd was awful and 3rd was alright but kind of bad, but the last one was decent...Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. I didn't mind the reboots though. I know everyone hates the Burton one but I didn't mind it.

I didn't mind Burton's Planet of the apes either. I went into it telling myself that there had been a pile of bad planet of the apes movies before it, so there is no point to expect anything. It was good action mixed with a lackluster plot. I ended up feeling it passed as an OK film. I felt the special effects and costume work were stellar.

Of course, nothing tops the original movie. It's good to see some other Heston fans out there.   

[Mikezilla]

I cant believe nobody mentioned this, but Terminator 4? I was so pissed after watching that garbage.

PBJ, youre insane. Batman and Robin is the worst movie ever made. You can talk about the classic "worst movies ever" but Batman and Robin is number one, a bunch of movie magazines agreed. Thats the only movie I have ever walked out of. Terrible. I dont even know how it ends. How did you not like Scott Pilgrim?! I was bummed that I DIDNT see it in theatres. Loved that movie.

Live free or die hard. Vigo mentioned Indy 4, and jesus god that movie was a pile of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. I dont understand either, considering the entire crew was the same.

Phantom Menace
Valentines Day
Pearl Harbor - SO freaking long, I almost went insane
X men 3 - This movie pissed me off because the other ones were so well done. HATED IT.
Spiderman 3. How the hell can you ruin Venom?! Yup, they did.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre The Beginning. Yeah, my sister and I saw this cause we liked the first one so much, it wasnt as bad as the other ones I mentioned, still pissed I paid to see it though.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3. I was a kid and my dad took me to see it, I dont remember a damn thing about it, so I probably hated that one most of all. The second one was pretty awful too.

The end to the Tim Burton Planet of the Apes is what pissed me off. I dont really remember too much of the movie, but I remember HATING the end. I wish he would get a new crop of actors. Im sick of seeing Helena Bonham Carter, and Johnny Depp in everything he does.

[Donkbaca]

People lie about the Phantom Menace.  I remember when it came out, I had nerd friends that waited hours to see it the day it came out, when they came home they were all like, "Man that was so awesome! The podracing was epic, blah, blah, blah.  I saw it about a month afterwards with the same friends who wanted to see it again, and I hated it.  Everyone craps on it now, but I would wager there are a ton of fanboys on this board who probably ponied up to see it 2-3 times in the theater.

Last Action Hero was a total bust, remember how Arnold was the man, and every movie he made was awesome?  Then Last Action Hero came out, and his star fizzled about as fast as I can remember.

[Vigo]

People lie about the Phantom Menace.  I remember when it came out, I had nerd friends that waited hours to see it the day it came out, when they came home they were all like, "Man that was so awesome! The podracing was epic, blah, blah, blah.  I saw it about a month afterwards with the same friends who wanted to see it again, and I hated it.  Everyone craps on it now, but I would wager there are a ton of fanboys on this board who probably ponied up to see it 2-3 times in the theater.

[Mikezilla]

I remember not hating it as much as I hate it now, but still thought Jar Jar binks was annoying, and the metichlorion thing was absurd. I remember thinking "if the rest of the movies are going to be this bad, they are going to ---Bad words, bad words, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when saint censors you?----fy Darth Vader" Totally called it.  

Edit: I never saw Last Action Hero. In theatres, or at all really.

[Vigo]

Edit: I never saw Last Action Hero. In theatres, or at all really.

It is pretty much a gratuitous Arnold love fest. Some kid is given a magic movie ticket that opens a gateway between movies and the real world, and you can go into a movie and it brings movies to life and ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. All the kid wants to do with it is go see and Arnold movie so he can see his hero in action. A crazy adventure ensues, I guess. It left me wondering what kind of young teenage male would pick visiting an Arnold action flick where you can get shot and killed any second above using it on a porno movie or some movie that you can use to aquire kickass superpowers or bars of gold? 

[garnerb350]

Its funny, but I find myself watching crappy movies that i know sucked in the theatres (mostly on netflicks now)....And I will stop whatever im doing just to watch it... I don't know call it a nostalgia or whatever... but one movie that stands in my mind is 1986 The Wraith (Charlie Sheen, Randy Quaid)... it was so crappy it became awesome...that and Kung-Pow:Enter the Fist...

[Bootay]

They should remake Spawn, that comic has been going on for 20 years now

HBO's animated Spawn were actually pretty good.  The live action movie?  Man, they ruined that...

Yes the animated series was great..too bad stupid HBO cancelled it before it was finished.

[knave]

I agree with most of this, EXCEPT. The Fifth Element, is one of the Best Movies EVER!

Flying cars, check. Gruff Cynical Bruce Willis in a tanktop, Check (and its Orange!)
Cool weapons, check. Alien bad guys, check.
Funny, check. and the best part...Mia Jovoich!

Sure Chris tucker is annoying...but it's still a great movie.

[Malenko]

You at least like the first Friday movie, right?

Hey Smokey's back here takin a ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---!
How you get fired on your day off?


Yeah, I really like the first friday, the sequel to it wasnt terrible. Tastes so good make you wanna slap yo momma!

I cant believe nobody mentioned this, but Terminator 4? I was so pissed after watching that garbage.

Silly boy, they only made 2 Terminator movies. T1 and Judgement Day.


As for last action hero, yeah the first 15 is good, especially the Hamlet scene. Worst part is that movie was very original concept but the execution was ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- and the kid in it ...man I kept hoping he'd ---smurfing--- die.

[Hoopz]

I generally enjoy Charlie Sheen's movies but The Chase was awful.

And I fell asleep during Russia House.  Never walked out on a movie but that's the only one I slept during.  I don't see as many movies as most of you guys especially in the last 10 years or so.

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

[Malenko]

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

Better acting in budget porn, better love story too.


The first Lord of the Rings movie was the first movie I fell asleep in, TWICE in 1 sitting

[wp34]

Never saw em but all my friends can't stand the Twilight movies.  Are they really awful?

I've not seen any of them but I laughed out loud during the preview for the new one prior to Hunger Games.     It looked like a parody.

I don't get the hate for Fifth Element.  That is one of my favorite movies despite the performance of Chris Tucker.  To this point I've never met anyone that disliked that movie.  Heck my doctor quoted it during my last office visit and a women I work with named her dog after Leloo.   

[Vigo]

Leloo Dallas Multipass.

[Nephasth]

[yotsuya]

Man, I'm glad I don't go to the movies with any of you guys. 

I avoid ---smurfy--- movies by not going to see them in the first place. 

[Le Chuck]

Went and saw 5th Element as a first date movie.  Got lucky afterwards about 20 minutes in.  Still an all time fav movie.

[yotsuya]

Went and saw 5th Element as a first date movie.  Got lucky afterwards about 20 minutes in.  Still an all time fav movie.

I can't tell you how many 90s sucky ass Christian Slater movies I got dragged to for the promise of a little something something.

[nitz]

Titanic. Blech. They're re-releasing this one in 3D too. Possibly the most overrated movie ever. The so called "love story" is stupid, thanks to terrible acting and writing. Everything after the ship hits the iceberg should have been great, but it's ruined by the whole love story motif.

Pearl Harbor. Again, a movie about a historic event that really should have been good, but they have to stick a love story in there. I have nothing against love stories per se, but when it's in the wrong movie with the wrong actors, it's painful and embarrassing to watch. Look, make a stupid ass love story with pretty boy actors or make a war/historical movie. Don't try to do both at once.

Armageddon. Do I even need to explain why? Just a bunch of noise with a stupid plot and silly acting.

Worst Movies ever made? I think not good sir.

If we're talking "worst movies ever made" in a strict literal sense, these are far from it of course, but my criteria is basically if it's a mainstream movie that seems like it should be great and it falls as flat as these ones did, it's a contender for worst movie ever. I don't count stuff like Bio-Dome because they're not even really trying to make a good movie and you pretty much know what it's gonna be like going in. I also don't count non-mainstream stuff simply because it would kill the conversation for most people including me - most of the truly horrid stuff is obscure and forgotten because it's so bad.

Super Mario Bros...(1993)




WTF was Dennis Hopper smoking?

I was 11 when this came out and I was pretty psyched about it, and of course it ended up being a huge disappointment. And yeah, even as kid I remember thinking something like, "Dennis Hopper is in this? What the ---fudgesicle---, did he lose some crazy bet or something?" However, when I saw it again years later I actually kind of liked it. I think if you ignore the fact that they totally puked on the source material and just treat it as a sort of cheesy B movie, it works on that level.

A.I.

Yep, another contender for sure. If you describe the basic plot to someone and that it's Spielberg, it sounds like it should be great, but it really sucked.

Worst Overall:
Blair Witch Project, my buddy wouldn't let me get up and leave the theater. He kept saying "I heard good things, it'll get better". It didnt.

Oh man, somehow I forgot about Blair Witch Project.   I don't think I even made it to the 30 minute mark on that one. That's my winner (loser?) right there...that for me has gotta be the worst piece of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- to ever be shown in a public movie theater.

I also hate pretty much EVERY parody movie after the naked guns (even 33 and 1/3 is kinda meh). Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Scary Movie, Meet the Spartans, Vampires Suck, heck even Airplane II .

I think the reason the Naked Gun movies worked so well is that they are really more pastiche than parody. Pastiche done well is funnier than just straight parody. The problem with Epic Movie, Disaster Movie et al, is that they seem to think simply referencing a recent popular movie is funny. I never saw it, but I think Date Movie had a guy who looked like Napolean Dynamite saying, "Don't vote for Pedro". How is that funny? It's not.

As for the Star Wars prequels, I've always maintained that they're really not that bad, but I'm not a huge Star Wars fanboy either. I think a lot of people were hoping if not expecting that these would be as good as the original trilogy which of course they never could be. I came to them with very low expectations and thus was not disappointed. Phantom Menace and Clones are easily the two weakest of the six, but they have parts that are quite enjoyable, while Revenge of the Sith is actually very good IMO, almost on par with Jedi.

Man, I'm glad I don't go to the movies with any of you guys.  

I avoid ---smurfy--- movies by not going to see them in the first place.  

This. It's usually so easy to tell these days when a movie is going to be ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---. It's one of the reasons I don't go to the movies that much anymore - most of them just aren't that good. When I was a teen I'd watch 5+ movies a month (mostly via video rentals) because I had tons of free time to burn and it wasn't as easy to find out beforehand if something sucked without the internet. But these days I just can't be bothered unless something looks pretty good, and sometimes even then I don't bother.

[fallacy]

Has anyone seen Contagion. Man all star cast that was so bad… it was soooooooooo boring. I am not sure what they were going or in this movie… maybe trying to go for some kind of realistic view on what would happen if a virus brook out. Talk about your 0 entertainment. When the movie was over I was just staring blankly at the screen, I almost felt like I was just staring at a white was for 2 hours straight.

[GregD]

Some of the movies listed I really enjoyed.  Bridge to Terabithia...Mystic River...etc

Bad movies:
Kid & Play's House Party
Kazzam
Striptease
Anything with the words Ace Ventura in the title
Encino Man
The Happening
White Chicks
Corky Romano
Battlefield Earth

[wp34]

The Happening

Bingo!  I have to think the actors in this had to be panicking halfway through the shoot.  Everything about it sucks except the cinematography. 

[Bootay]

Yea I need to add The Blair Witch Project to my list. I found 0 entertainment in that movie. I also hated Paranormal Activity. zzzzzzzzzzzz snooze fest. I don't get why people tell me these movies are scary. I also hate any movie that mimics this formula.

White Chicks. Yea I saw that and also hated it..but I tend to hate everything with the Wayans Bros.

The Happening I liked until they revealed the premise....then I was like "WHAT?! LOL"

I like the Fifth Element, I just wish the Chris Tucker character was removed. He is the Jar Jar Binks of that movie.

I am sure there are others mentioned that are bad like Kazaam and Battlefield Earth, but I never saw them and won't bother because everyone tells me they are bad.

[shmokes]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

[Vigo]

The Happening

Bingo!  I have to think the actors in this had to be panicking halfway through the shoot.  Everything about it sucks except the cinematography. 

Would have been good as a 1 hour special maybe? Some concepts were pretty cool, but there is only so long you can run from trees.