An interresting post from KLOV from your "Non Arcade guy/Victim" Jim Bloomquist AKA Dan Johnston
http://forums.arcade-museum.com/showthread.php?t=49165&highlight=arcademovers
Does that mean that Dan = Jim = Dave ? Sorry I can't quite keep up anymore...
The whole thing is really quite simple, honestly people, you should follow this better.
It all started one day when Jim wished on a magic zoltar machine to be big. The next day he grew 15 years older and moved to the city to start his new life. He met Dave, a man who he was switched at birth with, but they only found out just now. Coincidentally, they were also twins separated at birth at the same time. Quickly after Jim and Dave met, they became close friends. They decided to trade places with each other when Jim wanted to be a smelly hobo. Unfortunately, Jim was instead mistaken to be a federal agent by a ring of spies that were out to kill him. In Desperation, Jim and Dave decided to move into an all female apartment complex disguised as women. This plan was foiled, however, when a furry cat eating alien crashed into their garage which caused them to move in with their cousin from the island of Mypos. Jim, being constantly duped into Dave's half-brained schemes was tricked into to joining an all girls soccer team as means to pay for their next residence. He donned a wig and went by the name Danielle. At least until Dave died. Luckily he was given a second chance at life by coming back as a multimillionaire named Adam. Adam spent fortune in stock for Head-on roll on headache reliever and lost it all. As a last ditch effort to win it all back, he borrowed from intergalactic loan sharks to finance Ram Controls. The failed pyramid finance strategies angered the Jabba the Hutt, who had lost substantial credits to Adam's phoney venture. Adam reassumed the name Dave, but was still hunted down for the credits he never returned to the godfather of Tatooine, and was soon captured and frozen in carbonite. Danielle, now shortened to Dan, decided to do whatever it takes to repay the debt and bring Dave back from his carbon stasis. Dan tried to bring back Ram Controls and get money however he could. After ruffing up potheads for their debt and eating their cheeseburgers, he was shot 6 times point plank with a magnum revolver but every shot missed him. Now after having a personal revelation, Dan decided come clean about his shenanigans on the KLOV forum and then set off to wander the earth and hitchhike down lonely roads, only to find he cannot escape his past as he turns into the incredible hulk on a weekly basis.
See, it's really not that hard to follow this at all.