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How to forget someone? Emergency!!!
Ond:
--- Quote from: DaOld Man on July 29, 2010, 07:43:23 pm ---Move on, there are thousands of fish in the sea..
--- End quote ---
...yeah but who wants a fish?, sorry I couldn't resist, I used to say that years ago when people tossed me that. Fine, so the phone call revealed her true nature
I still think 101 on how to make a better impression, (which BTW = getting the girl for those of you who don't get it) includes "make the girl you are with at THAT moment the focus of your attention". I'd even say to her "I'm going to turn this off now so no one will interupt us"
opt2not:
--- Quote from: newman117 on July 28, 2010, 11:20:27 pm ---So school was out and May came and she got a boyfriend and call me a crybaby and all but... yeah I cried alot.
--- End quote ---
You know, a lot of people, both men and women have a hard time admitting this. I commend you for having the courage in doing so, that takes guts :applaud:
--- Quote from: newman117 on July 28, 2010, 11:20:27 pm ---So graduation day came and I invited her and we were alone in a porch sitting down and we were looking at each others eyes but didn't kiss cause she told me she had a boyfriend and then she left. So later I called her and she said "Why didn't you kiss me?" I was like confused.
--- End quote ---
Right there, that should have been a sign to hit the eject button. Seriously man, as you grow older you'll find that the women who are the least-crazy are the ones that are keepers. The rest are just drama-filled wastes of time. Every woman you meet is nuts, it's their nature. They're emotional, irrational and rely on us to be their rock. It's not sexist, it's just social-science.
You just gotta find the girl that is the least crazy out of the bunch, the one who carries the least amount of drama with her. Those are the good ones.
--- Quote from: newman117 on July 28, 2010, 11:20:27 pm ---She told me she believed me about me being innocent about the rumors that someone was spreading. Later we stopped talking. Then she called me one day and started talking again and she told me she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend cause she loved him very much. Then she called me one day and asked me if I could go with her and spent the day with her. That day I kissed her and she kissed me even though she had a boyfriend. Yeah!!! What an accomplishment!! Sorry hehe...
--- End quote ---
What are you thinking man?! Never "cut another man's grass", that's just going to lead to trouble. What if her bf is the jealous nut-case type? If this was a girl you wanted to "be with" for a while, do you really want to tell people the story that you "stole" her from another guy, completely clueless that she intended on betraying him? I'm sorry, but that's ---meecrob----bag territory. Don't be so proud of yourself for this, it is definitely not an accomplishment.
--- Quote from: newman117 on July 28, 2010, 11:20:27 pm ---anyways that happened one month ago. After i kissed her she told her boyfriend she needed time to think. And I kept talking to her. Until one day I asked her out and she said yes. So we were eating and one friend(girl) called me and she got very jealous and very mad she even started screaming.She left that place. And when I got home I called her and she told me she knew who I was that I was a liar and that she didn't trust me anymore. Anyway that happened right around June 20th. I haven't talked to her in a long time. And she keeps popping in my head and I really want to forget her. Any help? I know this isn't the forum for whiny guys like me so I'll probably get flamed... please guys be supportive... thanks
--- End quote ---
- Keep busy like the others say. That's what men do...we distract ourselves from the drama/emotional responses with some good ol' fashioned hard work. That's old-school. It's therapeutic, as well as productive!
- Surround yourself with stuff that you enjoy, do things you can "complete" (an arcade cabinet is a good one). This'll help keep you concentrated on something, as well as build your self-confidence. Men need more accomplishments to help us feel secure with ourselves. It sounds to me that you could use more confidence if you're still hung-up on this one chick...there are better girls out there...
It's like I always say, "be a shotgun, not a sniper rifle". You know what I mean right? I shotgun spreads, hitting multiple targets. A sniper rifle concentrates on one target at a time. Date a bunch, get a comparative view of the catalog...don't get hung up on one target!
- Don't completely fill your head worrying about girls/sex. That'll come naturally if you let it. Concentrate on yourself, figure out who you are, what you want. I mean, you just graduated...you have so much time, and so much experiences coming your way. Do you really want to waste all your efforts on chicks?
- Lay off the pot/alcohol...this feels great temporarily, but it doesn't help you in the long run. It'll also alienate you from the world, which is the opposite of what you need...you don't wanna be in that head-space, believe me. Don't lock yourself away, drowning yourself in a bottle, or smoking yourself dumb...get out there! Which brings me to my next point:
- Go on a trip! Even if it's to another city, or the next state (I'm assuming you're American)...just get away, get a change of scenery, even if it's just for a weekend. Going away really gives you perspective on things, and shows you how small everything really is.
I hope this helps in anyway.
Good luck.
hyiu:
in real life, I don't turn off my phone when I'm dating my gf...
I do put it on silence / vibrate when I'm in a show / movie / dinner / ... etc.
and will check msg promptly afterwards.
but when I'm just spending time with her, but not anything too important, and the phone rings (which happens just sometimes... not often at all...) I will answer if its a close friend / family / work...
it is to show her that I do have a life.... but I will not just leave her and chit/chat away...
I will make it brief...
to me, this is important... it is to show that:
- as much as she is important, we both have a life, and can have our own friends.
- I'm not hiding things / people from her... I think that shows some level of trust.
- in a minor way, it also shows that I have a life, and she is not the one and only thing in my life, which give me leverage, makes me a little more "attractive"...
if you turn off your phone when you are with your girl friend...
so one day you married her, are you going to turn off your phone whenever you are with her ??
if you do, then you'll be shutting off communications most of your time...
if not, does that mean she's no longer important to you ??
that's a lose / lose situation I don't want to start....
girls are naturally better in these things...
it took me a long time to get a slight understanding of it...
you don't really want to give them any excuses to start any drama....
or they will make it bigger and bigger each time... rip you apart, and b!tch u around....
as I said before, it depends on the situation...
but be true to yourself...
and let me put it this way... when I'm with her...
if her phone rings, I have no trouble letting her answer the phone, and let her take care of her business...
I myself use this policy.... (if she does to me what I do to her.... how would I feel ??)
if I'm ok with it, then in general, its a go ahead...
(of course, guys and girls are never really the same...)
so, at times, us guys needs to be a gentleman... and give some leeway...
but if you treat your girl too nice and bending over backwards in the very beginning, she will think this is normal, and for the rest of your life, you'll be bending over backward for her...
(I did that once, and will never do it again...)
you need to show your confidence, and be the alpha male that leads her...
(of course... within reasons, not in any way of abuse...)
if you do it right, she will gladly follow ur lead...
CCM:
--- Quote from: hyiu on July 29, 2010, 11:26:25 pm ---
in real life, I don't turn off my phone when I'm dating my gf...
I do put it on silence / vibrate when I'm in a show / movie / dinner / ... etc.
and will check msg promptly afterwards.
but when I'm just spending time with her, but not anything too important, and the phone rings (which happens just sometimes... not often at all...) I will answer if its a close friend / family / work...
it is to show her that I do have a life.... but I will not just leave her and chit/chat away...
I will make it brief...
to me, this is important... it is to show that:
- as much as she is important, we both have a life, and can have our own friends.
- I'm not hiding things / people from her... I think that shows some level of trust.
- in a minor way, it also shows that I have a life, and she is not the one and only thing in my life, which give me leverage, makes me a little more "attractive"...
if you turn off your phone when you are with your girl friend...
so one day you married her, are you going to turn off your phone whenever you are with her ??
if you do, then you'll be shutting off communications most of your time...
if not, does that mean she's no longer important to you ??
that's a lose / lose situation I don't want to start....
girls are naturally better in these things...
it took me a long time to get a slight understanding of it...
you don't really want to give them any excuses to start any drama....
or they will make it bigger and bigger each time... rip you apart, and b!tch u around....
as I said before, it depends on the situation...
but be true to yourself...
and let me put it this way... when I'm with her...
if her phone rings, I have no trouble letting her answer the phone, and let her take care of her business...
I myself use this policy.... (if she does to me what I do to her.... how would I feel ??)
if I'm ok with it, then in general, its a go ahead...
(of course, guys and girls are never really the same...)
so, at times, us guys needs to be a gentleman... and give some leeway...
but if you treat your girl too nice and bending over backwards in the very beginning, she will think this is normal, and for the rest of your life, you'll be bending over backward for her...
(I did that once, and will never do it again...)
you need to show your confidence, and be the alpha male that leads her...
(of course... within reasons, not in any way of abuse...)
if you do it right, she will gladly follow ur lead...
--- End quote ---
How did any man be the alpha male before cell phones... :dizzy:
For the OP... the girl sounds like way to much trouble. You are young, move on to someone else. If she is this much trouble already, she ain't gonna get better!
Ond:
I'm not quoting all that last lot from hyiu, it takes up too much space and kind of misses the point I was making anyway *sigh*
Common sense and emotional intelligence can take some learning. I don't need an I-phone to be the alpha male :lol or to show that I have a life and yeah when I was dating mobiles/cell phones didn't exist - what bliss ;D .
Just so you know I'm a happily married man of nearly 20 years (next year) plenty of GFs before that. and mobile phones..... ;D my business is IT & Telecommunications it's one of my most frequently used tools in my work, in my social life it has it's uses. How about this then, can we agree that there are certain times when you might favour the romantic notion that ignoring your phone might win some useful points on a date? Is that too extreme?
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